Sun: Pluto, would you please step into my office?
Pluto: Sure, I just need to finish this orbit–
Sun: That won’t be necessary. This will just take a few minutes.
(Pluto steps in)
Sun: This is Miss Mars, from Human Resources. I believe you’ve met?
Mars: Actually I don’t think our paths have ever crossed.
Pluto: (Now nervous) Hello.
Sun: Pluto, you may have heard that the Astronomers were having a conference.
(Mars smiles nicely, attempting to convey warmth to someone she’s never met.)
Sun: Well, they evaluated the planets, and your position has been eliminated. I realize this can come as a great shock–
Pluto: Excuse me?
Sun: I realize this can come as a great shock, but the astronomers have agreed that a ninth planet is no longer needed. Miss Mars has some information on what you need to know as you transition–
Mars: We’ve prepared a nice package for you, in reference to the long time you’ve spent as a planet.
Pluto: I’m being fired? As a planet? What did I do wrong?
Sun: It’s not about what you did, although your orbits have overlapped Neptune’s, and well the Astronomers feel–
Pluto: The Astronomers feel? Have you ever made an independent decision in your life?
Mars: Why don’t we go have a chat with Mr. Moon. He’s in outplacement.
Pluto: You can’t just fire me.
Mars: You’re not being fired, you’re being transitioned to a Dwarf Planet. It’s a great position and you’ll meet other dwarf planets.
Pluto: I’m not in this for the social aspects. I’m just as good as Neptune, or Venus, or you, Miss Mars. I’m going to take this up with the Universe!
Sun: I’m sorry, Pluto, but the universe is in complete agreement. I thank you, and the entire solar system thanks you, for the time you spent as a planet. You added so much to our little system, but it is time for you to move on. As a dwarf planet, I’m sure new and exciting opportunities will be made available. Now, if you’ll just follow Miss Mars, to Mr. Moon, you’ll have your outplacement opportunities explained to you.