Dear Evil HR Lady,
I started a new job about two months ago after a very long period of work instability and unemployment. I spent many hours preparing and studying for how to be successful in a new job and walked into this new situation with a very positive attitude, determined to maintain a professional demeanor, including greeting and interacting with coworkers in a friendly and positive way.
After the first few weeks, I noticed that some of my coworkers were decidedly cold and definitely not interested in interacting with me. A coworker who sits next to my cubicle ignored my cheerful “good morning” greetings, which I’ve now stopped, refuses to make eye contact, sighs if I get in his space, like walking past him in the hall or standing next to the printer (he has even tailgated me out of the parking lot), and offered no help at all when I asked questions.
A few others have acted similarly. Lunch menus are routinely circulated without me being asked to join in, that kind of thing. It reminds me of middle school, not work. The behaviors among those in this clique make me wary of asking any of them for help, although my manager encourages me to ask for help. There are others in the office who are very friendly but who have a different manager, and I’ve tried to focus on the work while cultivating other friendly interactions outside this clique.
However, I find myself sometimes at my cube wondering what I ever did to these few people because they act like they hate me when I’ve had so little interaction with them and they don’t know me, after all. I definitely don’t want to say in a work environment that often feels excluding and non-collaborative. How can I adjust my attitude so that this clique doesn’t impact my prospects in this job? I know there are always a few jerks in every job, but this little clique really takes the proverbial cake.
To read the answer, click here: My coworkers act like junior high students
I feel for this employee; just like I do for most new hires these days. In today’s workplace there is so much back- story that’s unknown to a new employee; it’s like walking in to a mine field. Unless the hiring manager (or HR) was up front in describing the office culture, a new hire has no way to know if the anti-social treatment is truly personal, or if the rest of the employees are just shell-shocked, over-worked and suffering from burn out. When you add that to an increasing lack of basic manners and face-to-face communication skills, it makes for a truly depressing on-boarding for the new hire. It has been my experience that Baby Boomers have the hardest time adapting to the lack of “warm & fuzzy” in today’s workplace – they came from the work environments where there was always cake, potlock lunches and gift exchanges during the holidays; and those types of things are just not relevant for GenX and the generations who will follow. They are more about the Employer providing them a lunch; not having to participate in a pot luck with their coworkers. Most employees do not want to be “colleagues” anymore – hell, they don’t even want to come in to the office to work if they can snag a work-from- home gig! Depending on how important it is to your manager to foster a true team-think environment, you may just need to bring a good book with you and read during your lunch hour. Who was it that said “work would be great if it wasn’t for people” ?
It’s not a generational thing. I’m technically a “Boomer” and I prefer an office that doesn’t have cake, potluck lunches and gift exchanges during the holidays; I have preferred that kind of environment since I was in my 20s.