I’m an Introvert–Please Give Me Space

by Evil HR Lady on April 15, 2019

I just joined a big IT firm and most of my colleagues used to work there from 6-7 years. They already have chemistry within them. Any newbie joining had to follow them everywhere from lunch to tea breaks. My boss was one of them.

Being an introvert it became too much for me and also being with my boss all the time was little uncomfortable.So after skipping lunches few times my coworkers started taunting me for not joining them.

After that, I decided to follow their rules, but then they stopped calling me for breaks except a few of my colleagues.

Is it wrong to ask for my space?

To read my answer, click here: I’m an Introvert–Please Give Me Space

Leave your own answer in the comments!

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

grannybunny April 15, 2019 at 1:17 pm

I’m an introvert, too, and would not be crazy about constant, forced, togetherness. However, I still would “force” myself to participate in some of the group lunches, happy hours, etc., in order to ensure that I didn’t miss out on new initiatives — which are sometimes first pitched out in informal settings — and that I was still considered part of the team.

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GreenDoor April 15, 2019 at 5:05 pm

I cannot imagine why the bosses would want people trailing them all day, every day! You’d think *they* would need some alone time, too!

I strike a balance by only attending social events that are during the workday. After work hours, that’s my time. I also only “do” lunch once a month with any one person. I find it’s a good way to get face time in, while still preserving most of my lunch breaks for errands and down time.

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MariaRose April 15, 2019 at 8:06 pm

Speaking again from an introvert view, I would not be comfortable at a big group lunch but could eventually enjoy going to lunch with a close co-worker. That said, this comingling beyond the workplace is something that should have been discussed during the hiring interviews as a requirement for the work experience, as some jobs don’t really stop and pause for meals. Having said that, I would not extend work friendship beyond the scope of the job into personal activities. There’s a big difference. Another point not covered is the cost of meals, does the salary compensate for this?

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Becky McIntyre April 15, 2019 at 9:16 pm

I’m an introvert. I’ve been annoyed recently when doing employment reference checks. Occasionally employers make comments such as, “She’s friendly and social. She’s not an introvert.” As if being an introvert is a bad thing! Introverts are not anti-social. We prefer one-on-one and small group settings.

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Tim C April 18, 2019 at 2:25 pm

I can empathize with the letter writer. The issue here is the reaction of co-workers to wanting to be alone on own time. It is not just going to lunch or after-work activities. I struggled with this as well. I eventually sucked it up and did it. I consider it part of my “duties” along with the monthly TPS report. You can repair the damage: Bring in food. Yes it is really that simple. Cupcakes on Friday, bagels next Wednesday, brownies, cookies, chips, doughnuts, or even a veggie tray. Do this once a month and you will be one of the most liked in the department and it costs so very little.

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jdgalt April 18, 2019 at 9:04 pm

I’m with the letter writer 100%. This is discrimination and harassment based on social interaction style, which is none of a company’s business.

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