This sounds great, but what is the system if it’s not me and you? And if we’re OK, why does the system always need fixing?

Although I’m a mere HR/OD neophyte (4 years in) I’m increasingly of the view that individual-level solutions are the only way to fix sick organizations. Every business academic and every business book outlines some form of system-level approach to organizational performance and leadership development – but organizations consistently fail to apply these solutions and just continue to flounder, get sicker, make people unwell and bitter.

For my money the reason organizations fail to apply systematic solution is not because senior executives don’t understand them intellectually, but because implementing them requires ordinary people to (a) take personal responsibility for the quality of their lives and the company’s direction and (b) have emotionally intelligent interactions with another person (be that feedback, offering support, telling the truth, whatever). Not someone else or HR doing this – YOU the manager or employee, in an everyday situation. And mostly it’s much easier just to suck it up, feel powerless, hate your life and never improve.

Which is not to say there aren’t irretrievably toxic companies – but in my experience, the toxins emanate from the employees, not the walls of the building.

I’m actually with whoever suggested the original enquirer should brush up their EQ. Good advice for everyone. In fact, I think Stephen Covey’s First Habit of Highly Effective People is the one this guy needs to start with.

I advocate that we must find our freedom first. This must be done outside of the organization. Corporate America today functions more along the lines of a master vs. slave dynamic. The employees (non-executive) function as a means-to-an-end for the organization.

As someone who at one-time had oversight within Corporate America, I continually ran into being asked to choose the profit/expense control or the employee. I don’t believe it is a either/or proposition. The company and I decided to agree to disagree.

Thankfully, I woke up before it was too late and decided to change (a portal for setting career-minded people free) the world. This is my mission.

Yes, there are certainly employees who are stuck in victim mode, but usually, it’s justified!

As long as the powers that be continue to blame individual employees rather than address the dysfunction of the systems within they operate, we will continue to have 21% employee engagement.

If HR wants a seat at the table, they need to show up with systems-level thinking, not micro level, fix-individual-employee solutions.

If you’re looking for empathy and system-level solutions, you can check out my blog.

I’m OK. You’re OK. Let’s fix the system.

Regards,

Michelle Malay Carter

So let me chime in. They’re trying to help. You’re seeing it as an attack.

Let me add something else. It’s your job to help your boss look good. It doesn’t matter what kind of boss. It doesn’t matter how long you have to drive to work. It’s your job.

I suggest that you take some time and think about your part in all of this. The only thing you can control is how you act.

You are going to have to stick this job out a bit longer unless it’s impossible for you to work with this woman (ie you need an anger management class after every conversation or she makes you suicidal). There are some places/industries where job hopping won’t hold you back, might even help you (ie DC, politics) but it doesn’t sound like you live in one of those areas.

On the bright side, it sounds like there is a lot of shuffling taking place in this company, so maybe there is an opportunity in another department. In the end you almost always have to decide whether it is more important to do work you love or for someone you love to working with. It is a very rare job that has both and even there you will have something to complain about.

I am the original questioner here and since there have been some changes and also some apparent gaps in my story, I figured I’d come to explain when I saw my letter had been addressed.

I appreciate all of the good advice and will definitely try to put it into action. But (there’s always a but), I should say that I am not a total moron when it comes to basic job choosing skills.

Commute time – As I state on Job 3, it was my fault for underestimating that. I learned the lesson and applied it to this job. Or so I thought. When I drove the rush hour commute to test, it was end of May/beginning of June. It was agreeable. Once September 1 (or whatever) rolled around, it became 15 minutes longer. NOT because the route has schools along it, but because there are school busses that drive the route. There’s no way I could have considered school bus routes unless I called local school districts and asked for maps of the bus route. (Maybe an idea for the future?)

Job 2 – I assure you that I DID research the company and even asked a friend who is a venture capitalist to help me research them. Everything we turned up showed no indication that this company would be taken over. In fact, it was actually suspected that my company would have been the acquiring party. The intent to merge was what was announced after I had come on board. This company was a good match for me b/c it was something I had personal interest in, etc. It wasn’t without it’s problems, but I did greatly enjoy it.

Job 4 – I should have stayed. Hindsight is 20/20, but I got really caught up in my boss’ issues with the company and made them mine. I did attempt to return to this job but they chose not to have me return as they chose someone else internally to fill my position. I understand that decision completely, but regret my decision to leave in the first place. Lesson learned.

Current job – Well, the VP is no longer my boss. (And yes, she does micromanage everyone) The “Manager” is now MY ‘Manager’ as she received a promotion. Good for her, bad for me. Had I know this 5 months ago, it definitely would have affected my decision to take this job. I’m not sure what else I can do when interviewing other than assume my potential boss isn’t lying to me. If I ask if I’ll be given autonomy on projects and they say ‘yes’…I can only assume they are being honest. If I ask what my duties will be, I can only assume that they are telling the truth. So I’m not sure how to learn from that aspect, but I’m definitely going to work on researching dealing with different work personalities. This is something that no one really teaches you in college/work force, but I do see how it can be a valuable asset. I don’t want to be a job hopper, but I do want to be happy and I don’t think that’s entirely unreasonable.

Thanks again all!

I agree, commute time is an easy problem to resolve, research it out before you accept the job. And then be happy about your decision either way.

Regarding the rest, a lot of the issues discussed are “people” related. Did you ever read any books on EQ? It’s a very interesting read, and may assist you in trying to understand other people’s motivations and how to work with different types of personalities in the workplace. I’m undecided on whether you can “learn” to improve your EQ, or if it’s an innate skill, but in any case it’s an interesting read.

There are going to be difficult or challenging people in every job (after all, we don’t work with robots!), and you have to figure out how to work with all of these types of personalities in a productive way. Who cares if you like the person, all that matters is that you can work with them effectively.

No expectations set for you? Set your own and excel at them. Boss is looking elsewhere for a job? Take on some of their duties (as they probably don’t care anymore) and shine in your own right. Difficult co-worker? Change your reaction to their sharp edges. You may notice a big change in the reaction you get back.