Comments on: Please, Please, Please, Find a New Job

By: HR Wench

HR Wench — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 21:36:00 +0000

Wally read my mind. Freaky!

By: Wally Bock

Wally Bock — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 23:54:00 +0000

This is round two. Despite your earlier request to Evil and the rest of us for advice and despite the advice we gave you (fit in or move on), you’re still there. Why? Is it possible that you revel in the sense of persecution and victimhood? You don’t need more advice. You’ve gotten lots of it, all good. Now do something and quit playing martyr.

By: Just another HR lady...

Just another HR lady... — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 19:16:00 +0000

I'm giving your HR Manager the benefit of the doubt and suggesting that he/she is trying to mentor you in some of the areas you are lacking and/or are not picking up in your HR career. Perhaps she was trying to "suggest" to you rather than "forbid"?

Do I wish I could be like everyone else and be BFF's with every manager and employee in the company? Sure! Am I like everyone else in the company? Nope.

Early on in my HR career, I had to fire someone I was close to, and it taught me very quickly about the requirement of maintaining "HR distance". Truthfully, I have been thankful for that harsh lesson, learned while young in my career.

Perhaps your HR Manager is simply trying to impart some of her experience and knowledge to you, and to help you incorporate it into your own HR career.

Instead of seeing it as mentoring, you seem to be seeing it as criticism or directives? Just my two cents!

By: Cheri

Cheri — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 17:53:00 +0000

I wish it wasn't true, but I have often been surprised by the perceptions that spring up when an HR person has lunch with "friends" at the office.

"You're just going to side with John on this - I know you go to lunch together."

Perceptions may not be factual, but they certainly do become reality for people. Thanks for the post.

By: another hr rep

another hr rep — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 16:49:00 +0000

I have known some HR heads who toe the hard line and have asked us not to socialize with employees (implying, not stating – no lunch with employees, amongst other things). Previous issue with this manager aside, if that is the culture and practice of the HR department, I’m not sure how raising this will be helpful to you. On the other hand, I do see HR as being a critical component to building the right culture to the company. If you are in a position to influence it, you should. Clearly your managers’s vision of HR is not in line with yours, so a better question is why stay?

By: Ask a Manager

Ask a Manager — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 15:06:00 +0000

Excellent advice, as always. Also, if you’re truly baffled about what she doesn’t like, it might be possible to find out directly from her. This won’t work with everyone, but you could try sitting down with her and just being candid: “Elizabeth, I can tell that you’re not happy with some aspects of the way I approach my job, but I honestly don’t know what they are. Would you be willing to have an off-the-record conversation with me about where I could do better?” It’s likely more effective if you have this when you’re already on your way out, as her tension about the situation might be lower. Obviously only do this if what you know about her tells you that she won’t respond like a complete jerk.