Comments on: Prying Supervisors

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 02:34:09 +0000

Hope you're still taking questions. My boss is particularly curious about employees' personal issues in our dept. In fact, she usually goes from one cubicle to the next after hearing some juicy gossip, whether it be of a domestic nature, financial, or even better, some drastic health problem. Nothing is off limits with her. She's been doing it for over 25 years, so there is a culture of company managers looking the other way (HR Director is her best pal). I started to notice a distinct pattern on certain days she'd go walking on her lunch break with her "pal," in H.R. in certain personal questions she'd ask. I keep most personal issues to myself, but she pumps people to the point you just want to be rid of her in your doorway!

I can't stand when she asks me, for example "Your husband is away for two weeks, oooohh, what will you do for two whole weeks with ALL that time?" I resent this deeply. She doesn't own me. She does this often enough (I've been with the co. for 10 years). My husband travels for his job, but I certainly don't owe this gossip a breakdown of what I have planned in his absence. I am offended, really. She's loud and broadcasts the most innocuous detail down the whole hallway.

Can't I shut her off once and for all?

By: Dataceptionist

Dataceptionist — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 00:15:00 +0000

I’ve always had a beef personally with this issue also as an employee. If someone pushed me for a reason I would tell them my leave is for whatever I want to do with it. The larger companies I have worked for have always had a disclaimer in their leave policy stating flights and tickets are not to be bought before leave has been granted, so that this cannot be held over the managers head when granting leave.
I thikn having to provide reasons forces the employee to feel they need a “good” reason to have a day off, and sometimes people just need a rest or downtime, and they should be free to take those days, as is their right.

By: Just another HR lady...

Just another HR lady... — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 21:57:00 +0000

I can certainly understand that you need a method of deciding on time off if you are choosing one employee over the other, but I don’t think I would want to be the one choosing which reason is “better”, and then telling something that their reason for time off isn’t “as good” as someone else’s. If we have two employees asking for the same time off and we can’t allow them both to go, it’s first come first served on the request, or else we leave it up to them to work it out between them who is going to get the time.

Can we now all have a secret HR handshake on those wonderful forms with boxes/sections that no one has to use or complete? Fun! 🙂

By: Chad A. Hanson

Chad A. Hanson — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 21:18:00 +0000

Just to liven things up what if one person bought tickets to the fight with 2 weeks notice and the other had to pick up their kids lets say at the airport but only gave 1 week notice?

By: HR Godess

HR Godess — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 14:49:00 +0000

We only use the “why” if more than 1 person is asking for the day. For instance, if someone has already bought tickets for a flight, that probably would take precedence over needing to clean your house. We have a “why” section on the form but rarely does anyone use it and we never go back to the person and ask.

By: Just another HR lady...

Just another HR lady... — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 13:51:00 +0000

Wow…30 days notice for time off…we keep it more casual…ask your manager and if it’s operationally feasible, go for it.

In terms of asking why a person wants the time off, I am in Canada and perhaps we have a different viewpoint on time off, but in my company a person’s personal time allotment is theirs to use as they wish, so no, we don’t ask why. (in fact I don’t care why, but they usually end up telling me anyway LOL)

Would you actually approve/deny a time off request based on an employees reasons for the time off? Who decides what is a “good” reason and what is a “bad” reason? If not, I don’t see that it would be necessary to ask why.

By: aduea

aduea — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 17:17:00 +0000

I like Leroy’s answer. I have also found that telling your male supervisor you need the day off for “female problems” usually stalls any further questions. 😉

By: HR Godess

HR Godess — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 13:41:00 +0000

I always ask the question. We have a policy that we request that you ask for days off 30 days in advance. Obviously thing arise that require days off and the 30 day request might not be feasible. We ask but if the employee doesn't answer or refuses to answer, we let it go. Every company I have worked for has needed departmental coverage, etc. for those who are off.

How is it that my position is the only one that no one covers? I'll need to work on that!

By: Leroy Glinchy

Leroy Glinchy — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 13:21:00 +0000

There is a single easy answer to this question (works in the United States at least). You are taking time off because of a "family emergency". If they pry futher, pause for a moment, look at the floor and say, "This is a really hard time for me. Can we talk about it later?"

Done.

In the US families are sacred, and this will not be questioned.

By: class factotum

class factotum — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 21:34:00 +0000

Ah, but it is thanks to Oregon that I, a woman, have been on my male fiance’s health insurance as his domestic partner since Jan 1. His company’s HQ are there. We live in Wisconsin, where the enlightened laws are such that one (or two) must wait six months until after a divorce is final before remarrying. (I am not a homewrecker! His divorce took FIVE YEARS!)

But — his lease was up in June and they wouldn’t do month to month. I had to sell a house in Memphis. I wasn’t going to do that without the benefit of any legal protection. Hence our little gay marriage until we could legally wed (which we will do as soon as we move into our new house and we have negotiated with my mother).