While I do feel that a “Hey, I have a doctor’s appt. at 1 and I may run a little longer than an hour” could be called for, I do not feel that the backlash from the manager was acceptable.

I am a firm believer in telecommuting and would love to work from home a couple days a week, but I learned quickly that it is quite difficult to effectively manage staff and/or a department when you aren’t in the office.

Whether you are in or out of the office (and whether that office is at home or not) it’s your responsibility to let your boss know. “Hey, boss, I wanted to let you know I have a doctor’s appointment today at 2:00, and planned to just take my lunch during that time. I might be 15 minutes or so late getting back, but will stay a little late tonight to make that up.” (Granted, if you are part of this super-exclusive carpool that cannot replace you, I don’t get how you’re getting the extra 15 minutes in.)

That simple communication gives your boss the opportunity to say “okay, thanks for the heads up” rather than getting blindsided during a conference call. No matter whether or not you were peers before, during that call she was your boss, and needs to know when you will be out of the office, particularly if it’s deviating from your normal schedule. If your appointment was during your regular lunch hour, it might not be such a big deal – I would still mention it, because that’s just me.

I know part of the things you said in your original message (and subsequent comments) was venting frustration, but if you came across with the same tone in your conversations with your manager, I can understand why she might be upset and take action.

There is no hypocrisy in being a manager who works from home, with staff in an office (particularly when those staffers have options about whether or not they can also take advantage of the work from home option.) You can only make assumptions about what her day is like, however she was your manager and to a certain extent it’s not your concern – she’s in the position of management. However when you have a manager, it’s important to keep that person in the loop whether you’re in the same physical office, both working from home, or on the other side of the world.

(Think about this – how many people do you know who work from home and wind up sending emails at midnight? I know lots. How many of them are up at 4 in the morning checking email? I know lots. Working from home is not a cakewalk, and most people wind up working more hours, because it’s always there.)

I just rankle at the idea that a woman with small children working from home is somehow living a laid-back, luxurious lifestyle while you’re slaving away, acting the martyr over your carpool and commute (because honestly, that’s the impression I get.)

I have worked for my fair share of of what Dr. Bob Sutton from Stanford University calls “A-holes” in the workplace. In fact, I still work for some and preparing to escape with other valuable colleagues who’ve already left. Take it from me: your boss was on her way.

The reality is most people don’t know how to manage, lead, herd or whatever euphemism you want to call it. And really, deep down, most people don’t WANT to lead. They think they do, but their actions tell something different. First, managing isn’t a stepping stone with pictures of your subordinates attached for ritual shoe-wiping. (That’s called sociopathic behavior.) Nor is it some kind of Marquis de Sade-Kakfa-Orwellian prison in which you must tighten the screws on your workers just because you can. That’s where micromanaging comes in.

It also isn’t adbicating your responsibility for not leading appropriately when something goes WRONG. These types indulge in the “let’s see who I’ll blame and flame” documentation game rather than first asking staffers what happened (within reason) and pursuing a course of action together, as a team. Better yet, how about assessing your workers’ strengths and weaknesses so YOU can better manage the *team* you want to see? Oh, and making sure you don’t fall into the trap of surrounding yourself with self-serving sycophants who are more interested in covering their tails than getting real work accomplished.

Last but not least, if worker camaraderie (not goofing off) unnerves you, and you’re taking active steps to squash it, you shouldn’t be managing.

Schlep, you did what you had to do. Don’t let anyone here try to make you feel bad for it. Evil HR Lady, I like what you do here. I just hope that HR professionals in the new postmodern management landscape we’re being forced into because of “the smartest guys” perfidiousness and arrogant ineptitude will be more empowered to see what really happens to good workers in bad situations. Many of us are demoralized by places that don’t see us, even when we do speak out.

One thing is clear to me (if I can also make an assumption in that a “con call” means a conference call with others on it) – the manager reprimanded an employee in front of others; then proceeded to “follow-up” with two more reprimands. This is beyond way over the top; especially doing so in front of others over a new, unannounced (or uncommunicated) policy.

I don’t see reprimanding in front of others as simply a mistake or over-reacting. It is not only unprofessional, but downright rude. Such behaviour would most likely not be tolerated by management if the tables were reversed, why does management tolerated it when a supervisor/manager behaves this poorly?

I wonder (not quite assuming!) how many others left this organization after daily schlepper because of this person’s unprofessional behaviour?

It reminds me of a non-profit organization (should I start making assumptions about non-profits now?) that I worked for in NYC where the one supervisor in her 12 years with the organization had 14 assistants all the while complaining that “good help was hard to find.” When I questioned the HR manager about this situation the response was “well, we all know that she has troubles, but she will just have to learn how to treat people.” What?! And let 14 people be put through her nonsense?! And if she hasn’t learned how to be professional in 12 years when will she?

I guess there is some truth to the old saying that management always supports management.