I think you resented your long commute and what you believed was her “easier” life and you exploded. It’s great that you found another job, but it might be worth being honest with yourself so it doesn’t happen again.

First, yes, the gender bias. The new female boss reacted oddly to the appointment she didn’t know about but that warrants a conversation, not a row and all the subsequent assumptions about her productivity and habits. Would the new male boss get the same reaction if he made a similar error in judgment?

Second, I assume much has changed in the last six years since this was written with regard to telecommuting, or at least I’d hope so. As someone who regularly and routinely WFH, I got more done and put in more hours because of the flexibility, so my eyebrows are up to here with some of the assumptions. Just because you would be distracted WFH doesn’t mean others would be, particularly those for whom WFH is a regular schedule.
I personally maintain the same “no personal work/calls/contact during work hours” rule whether I’m at home or at the office. I’m less likely to be distracted at home because I can control that environment far more effectively. And whether I’m in a bathrobe or a suit WFH makes no difference – I’m working when I’m working, period.

Third, the idea that it was an us against them mentality that drove her question about your being away was rather harsh in the absence of other information. While the questioning in the rather public forum wasn’t warranted IMO, there could have been any number of legitimate reasons that had nothing to do with the LW being “a daily schlepper” or the boss being a telecommuter.