Comments on: Study: Bullied at Work? No Matter What You Do, You’re Screwed

By: AntoniaB

AntoniaB — Mon, 10 Apr 2017 00:59:06 +0000

What you describe is precisely what it happening to my friend. There is someone on her team that is bullying a number of people in the team, including her. She is spiteful and vindictive. The atmosphere is appalling.

Her direct supervisor is getting told by those above and HR that the bully is suffering from depression and they all have to be sensitive to that. She feels her hands are tied by this.

Although that of course could be true, I suspect that they’re frightened of what the bully would do if they disciplined and perhaps even fired her. So they are putting more and more of the load onto the rest of the team. This who can find other jobs, are doing it.

Lots of anecdotal experience saying you are absolutely correct. Time to do your own study?

By: Evil HR Lady

Evil HR Lady — Mon, 27 Feb 2017 10:00:20 +0000

In reply to Snowglobe. I think you have a good idea going here. How often do we ask for help when we need it? Not often enough.

By: BulliedBad

BulliedBad — Sat, 25 Feb 2017 05:17:18 +0000

This was my experience. Manager was the bully. Coworker who was friendly before did nothing and sometimes even went along with bullying. Went to bosses boss and got gas lighted. Others didn’t just do nothing, several started bullying as well. I got very lucky. The manager and bosses boss left. New manager loved me and thanks to connections from work committees I got promoted to another department. The friendly co worker turned bully called me one night crying and begging for forgiveness. She just kept repeating how sorry she was but that she was so terrified that if she did not go along with my managers lies that she would become the target.

By: LK

LK — Fri, 24 Feb 2017 03:00:14 +0000

I actually didn’t fight it and eventually left. We had the opportunity to move for my husband’s job, and this made it very easy to leave. My experience mirrors this article. I wasn’t a target at first. In fact, she would complain to me about everyone and everything, and I would smile politely. I was a contractor, and she was an employee. I didn’t want to make waves; I just wanted to do my work. Then I spoke up about something work-related – that contrasted her opinion – in a meeting, and I became her target. The other employees would tell me that they felt awful, for how she would talk about me, but they never did anything to help.

I know this:
-I was unmotivated to work hard for the greater part of my last year there (this affecting the business)
– When I left, she moved onto someone else (thus affecting the business)
– Turnover is expensive! (thus affecting the business).

By: Jeanne

Jeanne — Thu, 23 Feb 2017 21:09:29 +0000

In reply to J.B.. So much of the time it is a manager doing the bullying. The company refuses to do anything even though turnover costs them money.

By: Jeanne

Jeanne — Thu, 23 Feb 2017 21:08:10 +0000

In reply to Jackie. Me too. I asked for help. I refused to accept the bullying. In the end, the company did nothing. I spent tons on therapy just to get through it until I could leave. She still works there. They promoted her.

By: J.B.

J.B. — Thu, 23 Feb 2017 19:59:13 +0000

When the bully is of greater status than the bullied (which is common) there isn’t that much that can be done. I pushed back against a bully a long time ago for someone else, and lucked into the exact right circumstances to keep my job. It could have gone very badly.

By: Jackie

Jackie — Thu, 23 Feb 2017 17:22:54 +0000

I have been bullied at work. I agree with this article, no matter what you do, you’re screwed. I stood up for myself, and went through the chain of command to get help and I was the one who, in the end, had to leave for my mental health.

By: Snowglobe

Snowglobe — Thu, 23 Feb 2017 17:06:42 +0000

I would have liked for the study to show a third option-for the bullied coworker to directly ask for help. I think bystanders often don’t get involved because 1) they aren’t sure what to do, and 2) they think ‘somebody else’ will take care of it. It would be much harder to remain neutral if the bullied party directly asks for their help in confronting the bully.

By: Evil HR Lady

Evil HR Lady — Thu, 23 Feb 2017 16:52:33 +0000

In reply to grannybunny. You should stand up for yourself, but this study shows that standing up for yourself doesn't necessarily work. People don't want to get involved. Should they? Yes. Will they? Not usually. Bullying is legal provided it's not due to race/gender/etc