I had a co-worker who frequently talked about how “respectful” people. It made me raise my eyebrows. She got away with it because she talked that way about EVERYONE, and she judged it pretty much the same across the board. But, It’s a term that should raise a yellow flag, because it is so often measured differently for different groups. It’s rarely blatant, but keep an eye out for that.

Or, take the issue of “bossy”. It’s a very gendered term – almost exclusively used for women. So, that’s another yellow flag. Think very carefully if you are labeling behaviors “bossy” when Sally does them, but assertive when Sol does them.