I got called into a scolding with two upper managers who were upset that I’d become snarky about the constant criticism of my unit — which consists of a team of three employees providing services to two customers. There is an atmosphere of mutual trust and respect among us — the employees and the customers — and a lot of flat out joy in our work. We help the customers to accomplish their goals and they’re always telling us how thrilled they are to be working with us.

Then management sends The ComplianceTeam in to rain on everybody’s parade. The ComplianceTeam goes into work areas when nobody is there and then emails us about things that vary in significance from people leaving their coffee cups at their work station when they’re away from it for anything longer than a bathroom break or a trash can being fuller than they want it to be. We’ve repeatedly told Compliance Team members and upper management that we have our own rhythm of how some tasks get done — one shift starting a task and another shift finishing it in a mutually-satisfactory routine that we all, employees and clients alike, find efficient. Still, The ComplianceTeam will send an email every time they find one of these tasks in-process.

I was told in the meeting that The ComplainceTeam had been created as a response to some problematic work teams that fight all the time, leave tasks undone for days on end because nobody wants to be the one who does all the work, etc. They decided that it would be best for company morale overall to invest the money in The ComplianceTeam so that The ComplianceTeam can “just give a gentle reminder that things need to be done.” That way, I was told, they catch things before they become big problems! See? It’s a way to improve morale!

I pointed out that it’s a real buzzill to be crusing along happily then open an email saying, “There was a coffee cup on the desk, the trash can was over 3/4 full, a reading light had been left on, and Task X was left uncompleted. Email us when you take care of these things.” I was met with total befuddlement. This is the gist of the conversation, which ran in circles until I gave up, literally crying in frustration:

Manager A: Why are you so upset about the coffee cup and the trash can?

Me: I wasn’t upset about them. I’m upset that I’m getting emails about things like this all the time. It’s hurting the moral of my team. We do excellent work and our customers are delighted but instead of being praised we get emails about these petty things.

Manager A: Those things are no big deal. Don’t stress out about them.

Me: I wasn’t stressed out about them. I’m stressing that we keep getting emails telling us to correct them when nobody on our team finds them problematic and they are actually just part of the normal smooth flow of our work pattern.

Manager A: But The Compliance Team helps you. They help to keep morale high by letting you know of the things you need to do in order to achive excellence. Those are just a few additional things you need to do. So just take care of them and you’ll achieve excellence.

Me: But if we focus on those things we’ll lose the flow that’s working for us.

Manager A: So don’t stress about them! They’re no big deal! Nobody cares if there’s a coffee cup on the desk or the trash can is more than 3/4 full.

Me: They why are we getting emails about it?

Manager A: So that we can point these things about before they become a problem. Then there will be fewer problems and that improves morale!

I want to bang my head off the desk. If I were a clearer minded thinker, I’d want to bang Manager A’s head off the desk.