There is systemic sexism, of course. This is not an example of this.

This is an example of a married couple who made a decision, and now they have to deal with the consequences.

The last thing I want is to demand that people structure their marriages in a different way to satisfy quotas.

As an HR Expert I feel like you should know this.

If it’s sexism , then it’s sexism on the part of her and/or her husband because as far as I can tell, they are the ones who are treating it as obvious that he can’t watch the kids in the morning even when he is not out of town.

Amen.

Right, it’s not sexism in the way that some guy is actively thinking “I’m going to pay women less than men because they don’t have a penis”, but there is a certain amount of implicit sexism in the fact that it’s treated as obvious that her husband can’t watch the kids in the morning because he has to go to work, so she can’t go to work in the morning because she has to watch the kids. That kind of thing is treated as the norm in our society, and that won’t ever change if every time anybody tries to discuss it, we get stuck on whether to call it sexism or not.

Her – herself – not wanting to get a baby-sitter/other family member to look after her child so she can go and present her conference speech is sexism?

Yup – I can see how. If I squint, and tilt my head just-so.

Just.

But this is not the sexism you’re looking for.

It is systemic sexism. US culture puts great pressure on women to be the primary caretaker, and in the majority of families still is (SAHM vastly outnumber SAHD by the millions). And it is a snake with its tail in the mouth – women make less money, so they make the primary caregiver job sacrifices (call out for kids sick/school closure/leave early for kids/cant travel) and as a result are paid less because they made those sacrifices. Just because people buy into the expectation doesn’t mean the expectations aren’t biased. Not every hardship women face is direct sexism, but this particular case is the result of indirect sexism.

Why can’t arrangements be made for someone to watch her kiddo for the 1-2 hours needed for her to be on air to represent her work? Her career doesn’t get the boost of her being on tv, she doesn’t get the opportunity to promote her work. Her written pieces are discussed by her colleagues, who are then associated with her thoughts & analysis.

While the colleagues benefit from the situation, the sexism is not theirs – it is the sexism of whomever decided (Sheera/Sheera’s spouse) that the daily mother work is more important than special opportunity to promote professional work.