Oh no, I completely agree with this! I was pushing back on Maria Rose’s comment that “no matter what position you work, coworkers should not be more than acquaintances.” I think HR is a completely different animal, but I think the notion that no one should be friends with coworkers is incorrect. (That said, maybe I misinterpreted her comment?)

And it certainly doesn’t apply at all to co-workers if neither of you has authority that affects the other.

There are two concerns when HR has friends at work.

The first is bias. Do they look out for their friends, even when their friends need to be fired? Do their friends rely on the favoritism to get away with things that anybody else would be canned for? Do they get bigger raises, more time off, or other benefits?

The second, and actually more important, is the appearance of bias. It doesn’t matter if you *are* biased, even everyone believes you are. That can destroy a company just as surely as actual bias. And can do so with the HR person completely unaware that it’s happening, because if people believe you’re playing favorites, they won’t dare call you out on it. And the only control you have over it is to avoid the circumstances where it is even remotely possible.

That is why the conventional wisdom is for HR people to have no friends at work, ever.

Gonna have to disagree there. Why should I have to avoid someone with shared interests just because we work together? It only becomes a problem with explicit favoritism or when people feel there is an obligation to be friends with coworkers. For example I’m not friends with any of my coworkers, but we have several of my husband’s coworkers and their families over to our house.