Comments on: 18 True Tales of Ridiculous Performance Appraisals

By: Tim C.

Tim C. — Wed, 03 Oct 2018 11:50:59 +0000

I was given straight “3”‘s on a 1-5 scale because the person I reported to did not understand my job or duties. This is what happens when the department leadership does not share your professional specialty. When I asked what I could do to improve, he said he did not know. At this point I was past caring about what they thought as I was job seeking and had a new one in 2 months.

By: Xarcady

Xarcady — Wed, 03 Oct 2018 02:51:31 +0000

The diagram of optimal thumbtack placement reminds me of the time my review included the fact that I had had to be taught how to paperclip pieces of paper together correctly.

I am not kidding. At this company, you had to put the larger loop of the paperclip in the front and the smaller loop in the back. The person who told me this was astonished that I did not already know this. And that’s why it was on my review—I should have known this vital office skill before going to work there.

Ever since quitting that job, I have been the world’s most random paperclipper.

By: Anon for today

Anon for today — Tue, 02 Oct 2018 20:51:12 +0000

A former supervisor cited “attendance issues” on my performance review because I used my vacation time in small increments (half-day here, full-day there). I never missed meetings or deadlines, and was available by phone or text 24/7.

There’s a place on the form for a rebuttal, so I said, “if my supervisor had any problems with my use of vacation time/attendance, the time to bring it up, was when signing my time sheet every other week” (this had never been brought up as a problem, and was clearly a “reach” by someone who was trying to distract from their own incompetence.)

By: the gold digger

the gold digger — Tue, 02 Oct 2018 14:27:50 +0000

I was told I “use big words that make people feel stupid.”

When I asked for an example, my boss could not give me any. When I asked who had said this, my boss would not say.

A co-worker laughed at this story and said our boss was talking about himself.

By: Ryan

Ryan — Tue, 02 Oct 2018 10:15:43 +0000

Just had my end of year appraisal for a large multinational company….

The entire thing is pointless. I was told that no one could score over a 3 (out of 5) this year because we had too much change to cope with (x3 different managers in the year!). I over exceeded all my targets and spent £40k less than the previous year to achieve this. I feel a bit like companies of a certain size use them as a means of not giving people the pay rises they deserve. A previous example is being told that “we can’t increase your salary this year as you only scored a 3 on your end of year”.

Hmmmmm…

By: James

James — Mon, 01 Oct 2018 20:44:08 +0000

A somewhat more upbeat example: I once got a performance review that included “You need to dress more professionally.” I do field work, and occasionally come into the office in field cloths (jeans, t-shirt, safety vest, safety glasses, steel-toed boots, etc) because I was doing my job. Apparently that wasn’t acceptable.

Best part was, my interviewer was in jeans, a t-shirt, and sneakers at the time, while I was in business casual. My response was simply to look at him, at which point he burst out laughing and said “Hey, I just have to read it.” (Someone else submitted the review, anonymously, and he was obliged to discuss it with me.)

I still work for the company. In fact, the same person is my manager. He’s a good guy, and after an effort on my part I’ve established a better relationship with the folks who gave me the review.

By: Maria Rose

Maria Rose — Mon, 01 Oct 2018 19:37:17 +0000

In reply to Kathy. Best "comment" complaint I used to get was that my "tone " of voice was off and gave a wrong impression to the listener. When asked for clarification, the comment would revert to facial expression as an explanation. I outlasted that negative reviewer complainer who got fired for overuse of personal time off.

By: MtnLaurel

MtnLaurel — Mon, 01 Oct 2018 18:17:33 +0000

My favorite? I was told I was “too polite” in my interactions with others. When I asked for an example of how I could improve, I was told to “say please and thank you less often.” It was another long year before I could get out of there.

By: old_engineer

old_engineer — Mon, 01 Oct 2018 18:17:05 +0000

I was fired without the indignity of a performance review. Working in documentation, I created a suite of 5 nearly identical manuals (changing only the product name – easy in FrameMaker). One snowflake engineer demanded his own version AND, my variable word choice for “computer” was deemed unprofessional. This name swapping was on purpose to keep the reader from sleeping. At the request of senior management, I created the snowflake manual (should I mention the product was NEVER released?) On the second pass, after creating a new manual with custom pagination, the idiot engineer reviewed the original manual a second time, not the corrected version. I was fired because the engineer could not read the date and version number.

By: Mr Bruised and Abused

Mr Bruised and Abused — Mon, 01 Oct 2018 16:32:17 +0000

In reply to Amy.

“we work in HR by the way”— great last line!! 🙂