I call bull also. I meet plenty of bossy women, and I’m a man who’s been called bossy several times. I don’t tell people what to do with their lives. Usually I’m telling them their legal responsibilities when I’m in charge of them, or trying to get payment for services rendered. AKA telling people to do their job or pay their bill., Yet there are plenty of women who who feel they have the right to pry into my personal life and tell me how I should be allowed to live it.

I don’t know about Charles, but I can say from my own experience that excessively-bossy men get called things like d***head, fascist b******, and – my personal favourite – Pointy-Haired Boss.

They can get respect, if it is clear they know what they’re doing. But they’re not liked. And when they don’t know what they’re doing, or they’re personally offensive, they provoke disrespect and resistance. In schoolyards, they’re the ones who get ignored by everyone else – and they can’t get higher authority to make them noticable.

I’ve often found that ‘bossy’ people are those who have a) no right to take command and b) those who don’t know what they’re talking about. For example, a schoolgirl bossing her peers around is unlikely to be popular because she’s telling them what to do (particularly if she doesn’t know what she’s doing.)

However, someone with a demonstrated record tends to do better – if a boy shows skill on the football field, his opinion on tactics is taken seriously because he’s good at football.

The core problem, however, is a little more complex. The average man knows just how far he can ‘lean in’ without coming across as threatening to other men; the average woman does NOT know this (it can only be learnt through experience) and by the time she becomes an adult and goes into business it can be too late. Anyone trying to ‘lean in’ can go too far – and, when they do, they get pushback.

However, I cannot pretend to be arbitrer as to the actual or proper usage of “bossy” for a simple reason. All throughout my school years I cannot remember once using the word “bossy” to describe anyone, male or female (and this is not because I have a rose-colored view of my childhood self: on the contrary, I remember several instances where I was quite the arrogant and presumptuous little jerk). And I never heard any other boy calling any boy OR girl “bossy.”

I did, however, routinely hear GIRLS calling other girls (but never boys) “bossy.”

I don’t know if that means anything, but perhaps it is an observation of interest.

You are completely right. Suzanne did not understand the comment thoroughly.

Agree totally.

The campaign was think like she does or your an idiot who doesn’t “get it.”

case in point:

Her claim that women are called bossy while men aren’t ignores the fact that men who are bossy are called much worse than bossy.

So, asking women to raise their hand if called bossy and then comparing that to men who raised their hand if called bossy isn’t a straight forward comparison. It made for a great “show and tell” gimmick; but, it didn’t prove anything – except, perhaps, for some confirmation bias on her and the audience’s part.

Bossy people are those who feel they need to “prove” their dominance, and they too come in both sexes. Janet Reno was so bossy, she insisted on taking personal command of the Waco standoff from thousands of miles away. Result: hundreds of unnecessary deaths.