Comments on: Company President: We’ve Had Complaints about Your Nipples

By: MrT

MrT — Tue, 20 Oct 2020 21:36:52 +0000

I’m a heterosexual male in a predominantly female field. I’ve never noticed if someone’s nipples were showing because I do my best not to look at my female colleagues boobs. And if I do find myself looking at someone’s boobs, I catch myself and make a conscious effort to not do so anymore.

Per the advice, I’d be more concerned about the client focused on my report’s boobs than on whether her nipples were showing. You did nothing wrong, this HR person was awful, this was heinous sexual harassment, good on you for leaving.

By: Nanc

Nanc — Mon, 19 Oct 2020 15:52:45 +0000

So do men have to wear nipple covers too? ‘Cause when the AC is cranked there are plenty of males chests metaphorically shouting “NIPS Ahoy!”

By: Texan In Exile

Texan In Exile — Sun, 18 Oct 2020 14:39:10 +0000

In reply to Eric. the combination of her attractiveness and how much skin was showing was a distraction for him. I am hoping that any training or HR conversation was directed at that man - that he needed to not let himself get distracted. This is not the woman's problem.

By: BethRA

BethRA — Fri, 16 Oct 2020 19:52:43 +0000

What. Did I just read.

Also want to say that OP’s supervisor really whiffed on this one. New HR person is gossiping about one of your direct reports (HR?!?!? This is why we can’t have nice things), and you don’t put a stop to it? New HR person is micromanaging (read: stalking) your direct report’s comings and goings and you don’t step in?

So. Many. Red. Flags.

By: MariaRose

MariaRose — Fri, 16 Oct 2020 18:50:40 +0000

Wow,that was some reason to make that write-up concerning a visible “display” not covered by undergarments,especially after working without comments for that amount of time employed. Was there some unknown dress code violation not posted for all employees. A whole bunch of steps were left out prior to that confrontation in the office. I would think that kind of meeting would be only for immediate termination. Yes the employee was right to be insulted enough to want to leave,and hopefully was able to find re-employment rapidly.

By: Kate

Kate — Fri, 16 Oct 2020 16:15:16 +0000

What, we’re not supposed to have nipples? I had always wondered why so many bras for sale were so very deeply padded as if all women were expected to pretend they were a size or two bigger than they are. But it’s to pretend that our breasts are smooth and nipple-free like Barbie’s? I’m all for foundation garments, but making sure they’re thick enough to assure that nipples are never ever glimpsed through clothing? That seems like it’s asking too much.

By: Eric

Eric — Fri, 16 Oct 2020 15:43:59 +0000

The closest parallel situation that I have seen was when a very attractive new employee started in my department and was still dressing like a college student in the professional environment. Though fresh from college, she was starting at a level above most members of the department due to her education credentials. A friend of mine shared an office with her and he made a few off-hand remarks to me that the combination of her attractiveness and how much skin was showing was a distraction for him. I didn’t think too much of it until I realized that she had become a subject of gossip among the female employees in my lab, and it was undermining her credibility in the organization. I shared this observation with her manager, happy to hand off the hot potato.

By: Dorothy Young

Dorothy Young — Fri, 16 Oct 2020 13:35:47 +0000

I understand the desire for closure; it’s not always realistic.

The LW might want to do a little Google research on the Queen Bee Syndrome. Sexism isn’t the exclusive purview of men.

By: Elizabeth West

Elizabeth West — Fri, 16 Oct 2020 13:17:37 +0000

In reply to grannybunny. No doubt!! This HR manager is full of evil bees.

By: grannybunny

grannybunny — Fri, 16 Oct 2020 13:16:26 +0000

Wow; just wow. Yes, of course, she did the right thing in leaving the company. But, they’re extremely lucky that she didn’t file a sexual discrimination suit against them, too.