Properly read the messages other people send you for advice instead of talking about things they never said. Also be sympathetic towards people who wrongfully lost their jobs.

If you do make any comments about the complaint, the one legitimate issue you have here is that there is not enough information to verify incidents. That’s a legitimate thing to expect in a complaint.

“And you need to think about the consequences of succeeding in getting that kind of attention.”

This is just “She was asking for it” with extra syllables. And if you really hold this belief you DO care, deeply, about what the woman is wearing.

No, it’s not. And, in my experience, the claim, at bet, indicates someone whose judgement should not be trusted. It *certainly* does nothing to help women, or keep them safer. Because inability to differentiate different things is never something that improves safety.

“There is a difference between “attractive woman who dresses nicely” (what you seem to be describing) and “Office eye-candy” / “Office Siren” (the LW’s own description).”

My argument is that there’s not. The same woman dressed in the same garments will be viewed as one or the other based on office politics/the relationship of the accuser to the woman. If you’re friends the woman is an attractive woman who dresses nicely; if you have a grudge against her, she’s the “office eye-candy”. Same woman, same outfit, completely different evaluation.

Further, attacking women because of how they dress is an age-old method for attacking them, at least as old as writing itself. And at least in my experience, that’s what these accusations usually are. The woman is a threat to someone in some way and they choose the most petty, irrelevant, childish means of attack: her clothing. I’m sure there are women who dress with the intent of using their looks to get ahead, but at least in my experience it’s far more common that someone accuses the woman of this because of office politics.

We should at the bare minimum question ourselves about why we’re falling into this pattern.

Toss in a big dash of “Clothing norms have changed and some people don’t like it”, of course. It’s not unique to women, but since women have a broader suite of fashion choices changes in norms are more obvious among women.

“And you need to think about the consequences of succeeding in getting that kind of attention.”

This is just “She was asking for it” with extra syllables. And if you really hold this belief you DO care, deeply, about what the woman is wearing.

Which is all well and good. But totally not relevant to the discussion at hand.

There is a difference between “attractive woman who dresses nicely” (what you seem to be describing) and “Office eye-candy” / “Office Siren” (the LW’s own description). By the same token, there is a huge difference between people who complain about the former – to which I say “grow up!” and people who notice the latter.

It’s not that I care what you* are wearing. It’s that when you TRY to attract a certain type of attention you don’t have any standing to complain when you GET that kind of attention. And you need to think about the consequences of succeeding in getting that kind of attention.

*Generic you