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Posted by13 hours ago

My wife (24F), who is pregnant with our first child, asked me if we had plans for Halloween earlier today. It falls on a Monday, and I have to work the next day, so I told her that I didn’t have anything planned, aside from handing out candy to any trick-or-treaters who decide to come by. My wife said that her friend (also 24F) wanted to go trick-or-treating, and that she invited my wife to come along. Neither my wife or her friend have children yet (aside from wife currently being pregnant), so it would just be the two of them going around asking for candy. I told my wife that I think it’s a little inappropriate for an adult woman to go trick-or-treating unless they were accompanying children or something. My wife’s response was that she “looks like a teenager, and could pull it off.” Now I think this is rather silly, but it’s not necessarily a hill I’m willing to die on.

However, the key issue for me is this: My wife’s friend lives in a town 2 hours away, and my wife’s friend lives in a rural area without good cell phone reception. So the situation is no longer just my wife wanting to go trick or treating with her friend, but that they want to go trick or treating 2 hours away in an area with little to no cell phone reception. I feel that I worry a lot about my wife and her well-being already since she’s pregnant, and I don’t want the added stress of her being out trick or treating in a rural area 2 hours away. I basically told her I’m not okay with her going out with her friend in this situation, and she’s quite upset at me as a result. Am I the asshole?

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Don’t worry, you can also request additional interviews if 7 hours isn’t enough!

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Posted by17 hours ago

I'm not 100% sure this fits but I feel more that it does than does not.

First, while he wasn't fired, keeps his professor title and remains gainfully enployed, he did lose his position as director, is no longer teaching, has no interaction with students and no access to campus or faculty buildings. He is allowed to continue using Leiden and his title as professor for research papers and the like.

There has been a lot of controversy over Leidens handling of all this and Ottow herself confirms that there were signs and that this should have caught and dealt with much sooner. However, the controversy is around the fact that they did not fire him as a professor or publicly name him.

Ruetir quotes the Executive Board President Annetje Ottow as saying, "“However serious the allegations are, you have to observe the rules of labor law and privacy law.”

https://www.ruetir.com/2022/10/25/leiden-professor-went-wrong-several-years/

Second, The Max Planck institute says that they, "have ended their association" with him, including removing his bio from their website. I was unsure what kind of position this was but they do have a position called Associate Professor. Furthermore, Mare Online quotes complainants as having fear that because he was not originally named that "he may continue his misconduct at other institutes where he holds a position" They were speaking specifically about the Max Planck Institute. So it sounds to me that he was let go from a paid position with them.

https://www.mareonline.nl/en/news/removed-astronomy-professor-is-tim-de-zeeuw/

Lastly, it doesnt seem like he'd keep his professorship very long seeing as they barred him from interacting with students, teaching and the school itself but Idk. Guess we'll see.

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I made the nutmeg flats that were posted here last week. The only change I made was adding a drop of vanilla extract to the egg whites that were brushed on top. Delicious!

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Posted by23 hours ago

My 3 yr old son has Down Syndrome and is in the Georgia public school special education program. He rides the bus and is in a classroom with 5 other children and 2 teachers.

I received this text from his teacher at 12:09 “Hi Mom, I think Child may not be feeling well. He laid down for a bit during play time, he didn’t eat much at lunch and now we are at recess and he laid down on the grass. He just seems a bit off.” I went to pick him up and the second I saw him, I knew he wasn’t sick, this was something else. He was staring off into the distance, was more lethargic than I’ve ever seen him, and was like soulless. I brushed his hair off of his forehead like I always do, and there it was, a new giant bruise.

Neither of his teachers or his bus driver know how it happened. I received a 2nd text from teacher “FYI, no one here saw him fall or hit his head on anything at all today. He was acting tired since pretty early this morning (I noticed it at play time at 9:00). He seemed fine at breakfast and circle time. I’m so sorry, with all the sick bugs going around, I didn’t think to look for signs of a bump on his head.”

I called my husband, he left work, and we went to the ER. We ended up waiting for about 7/8 hours, almost got hit by a psych patient that was having an episode, and lost quite a bit of money from my husband missing work. We finally see a doctor and find out he has a concussion. It is about 10:30pm at this point. He will be okay, but has to rest the next couple of days.

Is there any legal action to take against the school? I am extremely worried to send him back, but we can’t afford for him not to be in school. How can we make sure the correct people are held accountable for his injury?

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I am NOT OP. Original post by u/VioletThunderX in r/TwoXIndia

trigger warnings: lonely in a new country

mood spoilers: he respected her boundaries

Original post: (Oct 12, 2022)

Earlier in August, I met a guy in class who is from my home town back in India. He DMed me asking to collaborate on a class project since we have overlapping research interests. So after a month or so we became friends. Everything was fine but recently he has become so needy- he calls me for any inconvenience he faces and often I am busy so I don’t pick up. He gives it 45 mins and calls me again. And the pattern repeats.

He has not made any other “moves” or comments to hit on me or anything, he knows I’m in a relationship and is super polite. But oh man, he doesn’t understand phone etiquette. Usually I thought we should wait for the person to call us back if we already called them and they didn’t pick up. Or like send a follow up text asking when is a good time to call.

But this guy just calls without any notice, and it isn’t even urgent. One time he called and wanted to discuss his bowel movement with me and I was like 💀💀💀 I think he is lonely and doesn’t have many friends, so that’s why I was nice to him and showed him the ropes of moving to a new country. Did not sign up to be on the receiving end of useless phone calls.

I want to have a talk with him about this, but am I being mean? I feel so bad telling him to tone it down a bit. I genuinely don’t mind helping but the other day he called me 6 times at like 11:30 pm. When I asked the next morning if he’s ok, he just said he wanted to sit on a zoom call and debug his code. That to me is something you don’t bother at 11:30 pm for.

Am I the mean person here?

Update: (Oct 19 2022)

So following everyone’s advice and what I was already kind of considering but needed to hear it from others, I realized I have to talk to him about boundaries.

Thankfully, it came up naturally when one time he asked me if we can discuss stuff for our project at around 11. I said no, I am not available after 9 pm since I put my phone on do not disturb and only respond to family and my SO. He was very receptive to that, he said sorry for the previous times and has not tried to call me after 9. He does text after but it’s not needy, more like “hey when you’re up, can we discuss about our project?”

So I’m glad it went smoothly. Although I think just beyond me, he is very lonely. I think he is wanting friends. And I think he’s not confident in his own skills/ work. Altho he’s respecting my time, I think he’s very reliant on me to sort of… confirm and validate his work. Which is kind of exhausting.

This makes me maintain more boundaries but I also get it. Moving to a new country is not easy. So as someone suggested on my previous post, I’m being firm but kind. He needs to learn self sufficiency ( he has never lived by himself), but I’m not his life guru or anything. I am helping him but not codling.

Just wanted to update you guys :)

**Reminder - I am not the original poster.**

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  • r/wasletztepreis - UPDATE: Was letzte Haftung
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Posted by13 hours ago

My son, Ollie, is a senior and on ASB. They had organized a homecoming pep rally scheduled for this Friday. They've been prepping for a long time. There is a dance routine and a teacher vs student basketball game.

Last week, Ollie tripped over a chair during the night and tore a ligament in his ankle. Obviously he can't participate in the rally. They can't really continue with the program as planned with my son out. They really tried.

The teacher in charge asked other seniors if they wanted to take my son's spot but they declined because they didn't want to look stupid doing a dance routine with four days prepped.

That's when my 11yo son Brian said he wished he could take his brother's place. I thought about that and realized it was actually a good idea. He does a lot of gymnastics and picks up on "choreography" quickly.

I had a talk with Ollie who wasn't sure.

I spoke to the teacher who asked my son to do some of the choreography and he impressed her. She said she would talk to the other students about Brian taking the spot of Ollie.

The students thought the idea would be funny and everyone agreed to it. My son would actually be paired with Ollie's girlfriend. The teacher told me that the rally is scheduled towards the end of the day on Friday so Brian would have to miss three classes - two for prep, one for the rally.

I spoke to two and they were fine with it. Whatever work they do on Friday can be made up on Monday.

The 3rd teacher, language arts, said she wasn't okay with his skipping class to go to a rally at the high school. That's not a valid excuse to miss class so she won't let him make up a test that she was going to schedule. He would have to get a 0.

I told her that it's not like he's skipping school to go to park. If two teachers and the high school is okay, then why can't she? She said she doesn't play favorites. I told her it's not playing favorites, it's being reasonable. Would she have me just lie? She said of course not, but that's her rules. I said we'll leave it at that.

I decided it wasn't worth this much drama and my son getting a 0 on a test in the 6th grade wasn't going to ruin his life. I could be a dad dick and go over her head but I won't.

She did email me today and asked if I decided if my son was going to skip class to go to the high school rally. I replied he's skipping class because he has a "doctor's appointment." So he'll make the test up per her "rules."

What is she going to do? Leave class to see if he's dancing in the rally lol?

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Posted by12 hours ago
  • r/Old_Recipes - Excerpts from a 1953 jell-o cooking pamphlet.
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Posted by21 hours ago

To preface, I know nothing about cars. I've never had many good examples of financial literacy, but I am trying to learn, so please go easy on me if I've really messed up here.

In November of last year, I bought a used car (2004 Honda CR-V, 101k miles) outright at a used car dealership and sold my financed car to Carmax for more than what I owed. I couldn't reasonably afford it anymore. I was slowly draining my emergency fund to pay for it. I thought I'd be saving money without a car payment and full coverage insurance, and for a while things were fine and I felt relieved.

Then I had to pay $2,700 for repairs in March. I took it to a local mechanic, one that was recommended to me and seemed pretty reputable. I don't know much, if anything, about cars and I certainly don't know enough to fix them. I could at least tell there were a few things wrong, even if I couldn't name them. I wasn't shocked though, considering its age and miles. I can't remember everything that was repaired, but the cr-v came back to me better than before and I felt relieved again.

This month it needed more repairs. The check engine light had been coming and off for a month prior, but it was driving well enough for me to travel longish distances, so I let it go. Then the light came back on and the engine started stuttering while I was going ~65 mph. It did the same, maybe four or five more times that day at lower speeds, especially going from a stop. It definitely freaked me out and left me afraid it would break down soon. I took it to the same mechanic.

$2,900 to:

  • replace vvt solenoid and rocker arm oil control solenoid

  • replace the intake manifold tuning valve

  • replace engine front cover and some gaskets

  • serpentine belt and oil lost from the leak and the filter

I was starting a new job and the drive is 72 miles total each day, so I had to have a way to get there and I do not have access to public transit. I was panicking about how I'd get to work, so I agreed to the repairs.

The $5,600 total this year has almost completely drained my savings. I don't know if this entire situation is caused by my own stupidity or what. I'm sick at the thought of how much money I've put into it. I fear another expensive repair will happen within the next year. At this point, the monthly cost of repairs is almost as much, if not more, than what I was paying with a car payment + insurance. Perhaps it was a mistake for me to buy an older used car since I don't have the knowledge or tools to fix it. I've started considering just trying to save up a little bit after this repair, getting a loan for a used but much newer car, then selling the cr-v. I have a good credit score and would be working with my credit union. I don't know what to do. I don't want to totally ruin my finances, so I would greatly appreciate other perspectives.

tldr; I've spent $5.6k repairing my 2004 cr-v that I bought just one year ago and I fear more costly repairs are right around the corner. I absolutely need safe and reliable transportation. Should I sell it, get a loan and replace it with something still used but much newer?

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Gold2Helpful (Pro)To The StarsHelpful21

Original Oct. 7, 2022

My school is next to a trailer park with 250 tenants. Roughly 30% of the students at my school live there. Recently, it sold for $16.8 million.

I got a call this last week from a grandparent who got an eviction notice taped to her door. The company that bought the trailer park told all tenants to pay rent through an online portal, but the portal doesn’t work. This grandmother dropped off a check to pay rent, but the landlord didn’t cash it. Now she thinks she’s being evicted, and she’s worried her grandson she has custody of will have to change schools.

I looked at her lease and the notice and told her it wasn’t legal because it wasn’t served by a sheriff and she’s not on a month-to-month or rent-to-own lease. The deputy I called said it was a legal "Notice to Quit" instead— not an eviction. I traced the address of the notice to a company’s PO box in Delaware, 8 hours away.

Today, the special needs aides at work told me all of their students’ parents received the same notice on their door. The new landlord is trying to force renters out so he can bulldoze the trailer park and replace it with higher occupancy apartments.

It’s a beautiful time of year with red leaves on the mountains and the fields are full of pumpkins. The kids at my school are hopeful everyday and have no bitterness in their hearts. It is absolutely insane to me that we live on a planet that could be heaven, but the circumstances of human relations created by capitalism make it hell.

Update 1 Oct. 9, 2022

TLDR: the trailer park across from the elementary school where I work in VA was sold to an anonymous investor and they are evicting all the tenants— possibly 20% of the students at our small school.

This is some Pynchon-level chaos involving professional football players and the Panama Papers. I’ve tried to get the help from the media, but nobody has picked it up. Maybe you guys know how to piece together what’s happening?

The public announcement of the sale does not include the name of who bought the trailer park for $16.8 million. The tenants are supposed to make out checks to PO Box 249, Englewood, NJ. So that’s all we are working with.

This address is linked to several trailer parks in Virginia with sewage issues and many trailers parks all across the country (Indiana, Kansas, Louisiana, Florida). One park listed is Pinecrest MHP in CA, and a document says the legal address is the Corporation Trust Center in DE which is listed in the Panama Papers as using the Isle of Man as a tax haven. A company using the same PO Box, HOA II Finance One, LLC also links back to the same Corporation Trust Center.

The name listed as a manager for some of the parks using the same PO Box all over is "Byron Fields" with an email linked to a defunct website, ourhomesofamerica.com. There’s a LinkedIn profile for Byron Fields that says he works for Homes of America, but the profile picture is of Byron Fields, Jr, who played football for Duke and signed for the Giants.

Did a professional football player use a shell corporation to buy a trailer park and evict all the tenants? Can anyone find anything else?

Update 2 Oct. 14, 2022

Half the busses that take students to the elementary school where I work come from a trailer park down the road, which sold for $16 million in April.

The property itself is only assessed for a little over $2 million. It was never on the market. The buyer spent over $10 million for the land and another $6 million for the buildings, buying the park directly from the family who owned and managed it. The buyer was kept off public documents. The new owner raised the rents and now (6 months later) is evicting all the tenants.

After the sale, the tenants were told to pay rent to [the old name of the trailer park, + new 'LLC' added to the end] and a PO Box in Englewood, NJ. The PO Box is shared by a professional football player named Byron Fields, whose LinkedIn says he works forHomes of America. He was an intern for Alden during college. That guy is now the nominal 'manager' of a dozen trailer parks in the US bought by Homes for America. The PO Box gets forwarded to Corporation Trust Center, where American money disappears into offshore accounts to evade taxes.

Byron Fields didn’t buy this trailer park. On investigation, the buyer is Thomas Del Bosco, an executive of Alden Global, who bought the trailer park under a nonprofit called Homes for America. He’s also an executive of Smith Management LLC. Alden Global owns stakes in both my local paper and the bigger paper nearby me— who (surprise!) are not covering this story. Alden Global is mentioned in the Panama Papers because it’s sheltering all its money offshore.

Past investors in Alden have included the Knight Foundation (a nonprofit that, ironically, funds sustainable journalism projects), pension funds for employees of Coca-Cola, Citigroup and CalPERS (the California public employees’ retirement fund), as well as some nonprofit foundations and Swiss financial institutions… more than $236 million in pension funds for some Digital First Media employees are invested in Alden, although the company said this year it’s in the process of pulling them out.

How can hedge funds operate through nonprofits? They are buying papers, ruining them by cutting the staff in half, and creating nonprofits about sustainable journalism while investing the pensions of the employees of the papers they have bought into their own hedge fund.

If you have so much money, you can ruthlessly buy everything and create profit margins by casting out workers and tenants onto the streets. We need to jail hedge fund managers and slumlords, nationalize banking, and guarantee home ownership for Americans. It is frankly enraging how badly Americans are screwed over by finance capitalism.

I believe these students have a sense of community at our school, and eviction will traumatize them and further impoverish their parents. A 3rd grade kid named (something like) Tiny Tony told me his dad is now working everyday of the week to try and make enough to pay the hiked rent and stall off the eviction. He is so stinking cute, and he loves school. I don’t want him to be swept away.

major edit: the money is going through Homes of America LLC, not Homes FOR America (the nonprofit).

Update 3 Oct. 15, 2022

This update is an image of OP handing out flyers, telling residents who is responsible for this situation. What's important is the secrecy behind this Tom Del Bosco:

Alright so this isn't the first time I've heard the and seen the name "Tom Del Bosco", nor is it the first time I've looked into it, nor is it the first time that name had been used for public affairs, and yet, it never really leads me anywhere. I think the name Tom Del Bosco is mostly used as an alias or coverup name to help hide a person or people. Or it's all hardcore scrubbing. You can look up Tom Del Bosco and you'll find random people from random parts of the world. Look up Alden Global and you'll find it's a hedge fund, that's it, no real history, no clients, no employees... But you might find that they just so happen to be the owners of many several news outlets. I highly fucking doubt it's coincidence. Not the first time this has happened and it's not gonna be the last, I wouldn't even be surprised if local, state, or national news says literally nothing about this purchase and eviction of people. It's all super fucking shady, but what I do wonder now is. How did OP get this sheet of paper notifying them of who to contact and who to seek aid from? I personally don't think it was someone that they know. What I do know is that everyone in the area will leave, sooner or later, for some reason or another.

Basically, if you search up Tom Del Bosco or Alden Global, all of the search results have been bogged down, you can't even find a picture of this man's face. He might have paid people to scrub him from the net.

Update 4 Oct. 15, 2022

I typed a flier on my phone about the mass eviction happening at the trailer park where my students live. When I went to print it out at FedEx, the chick working there asked if she could share it on social media, and I said yes.

I parked at my school and walked along the highway past dead deer and haunted places. I reached the park and started talking to the families that were outside or who had their cars parked in the driveway. Every single person was kind and grateful I was doing something. I had been afraid park management would bounce me because it happened to me before but nobody has seen management in days.

Things I learned:

-An elderly man was being evicted over $12

-The mobile app they’re being required to use is tacking on crazy fees

-HUD (housing assistance) vouchers are being returned to sender, and the tenants who use assistance are now in thousands of dollars of rent debt

-a few days ago, the new manager left a hundred page packet on the tenants’ doorsteps, outlining all the new rules that could cause the residents to incur new fines. One particularly dark rule is that everyone can only have one pet now.

-A man invited me into his trailer where he lives with his young son. They showed me the floor in their bathroom had collapsed.

-The tenants were told if they didn’t pay these new fees by October 28th, they would have 3 days to move out before they would be evicted.

-Over half the tenants had been there less than a year, so there’s high turnover. Pretty much everyone said this was the only place available immediately that they could afford.

-The tenants pay between $400-$800 in rent.

-Some of the trailers are from the 1970s.

-All the notices that were eviction-related had simply been taped on peoples’ porches.

-I saw how the payment app they were now being made to use didn’t work and didn’t have any contact information about who was managing the park.

-Someone showed me that they were being charged fees with dates occurring before they moved in.

-One woman showed me how electricity didn’t work in half her trailer.

-Three men I talked to work grunt jobs at the weapons plant. One worked at Walmart. One was in construction. Only half the people I talked to were white. Three people mentioned disabilities.

In all, I was there for three hours and talked to a bunch of people. Surprisingly, I didn’t see any of my students. I walked back down the highway after dark. I had put my number on the flier but nobody has called me yet. I’m going to go back on a different day at a different time and try to talk to more people. I’m exhausted and I typed this from the bathtub.

This is an ongoing saga, OOP seems bent on not backing down from her activism. I thought this deserves to be spread around for awareness. Let's all signal boost the hell out of this

This email belongs to someone that can relay this story to John Oliver's show, we should let her know. Any more emails linked to the media will be helpful: yoonie.yang@warnermedia.com

MSNBC/Rachel Maddow: Rachel@msnbc.com

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I thought the worst part was tagging the job as “remote” when it’s actually hybrid but it just got worser and worser

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Me (31) and my husband (35) both work from home. His start time is 8:30 and the work he does essentially timestamps what he does. He also has a micromanaging boss. On occasion, he may have to go into the office to perform on site work. My start time is 8 am and the work I do is very independent and at my own pace, and my boss could care less to track my every move so long as my deadlines are met.

My husband sets his alarm at 7 am every day even though he admits he doesn’t want to be up until 8:15 at the earliest. But he never wakes up to it. But the rest of us hear it, so my toddler and I usually wake up about 45 mins earlier than we need to as a result. I’ve asked him to stop setting it so early and he said he needs the whole hour of snoozing to wake up. So he’s been on the couch lately, but I still wake up to it from there and have to snooze it every 15 mins. I am currently 6 months pregnant so this morning I was exhausted and didn’t want our toddler waking up earlier than needed and wanted the extra sleep myself, so I turned it off. But it was too late, our toddler already woke up to it. So I got up and then got busy with our toddler. Our toddler went to daycare around 8:15 (my parents pick up). At 8:27 I realize the time so I went to wake my husband up and told him “I must’ve accidentally hit ‘off’ instead of ‘snooze’ on your alarm when I was tired, but it’s almost 8:30. You should get up.” And I went about my business working. I took a break and came downstairs to find him asleep at 9:47 am and I jolted him and said “You’re still asleep? It’s almost 10” and he said “no effin way!” And ran to his laptop. He told me to stop turning his alarm off, and basically don’t touch it unless I hit snooze. Thing is, he goes to sleep almost every night around 2 am so he’s not gonna wake up to a 7 am alarm 9/10 times. Instead, I always wake up to it and have the task of hitting snooze every 15 mins anyway. Yes I technically lied to today him about his alarm but I am literally tired of this…and I did make sure to wake him up on time. Or so I thought. AITA?

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  • r/Crayfish - Antenna problem
  • r/Crayfish - Antenna problem
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My crayfish antennas have fallen off over the past 2-3 weeks. No changes in the tank in over 6 months. Google has been less than helpful. Any thoughts? Tank mates include 3 tetras and a 4 or so ghost shrimp.

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The Poop KnifeGoldCake

I have this roommate, call him Darian. Darian and I before this had a bit of a tense relationship, Darian constantly uses and disrespects my stuff, he leaves dishes "out to soak." Multiple times has drank my expensive alcohol, so already before this event we weren't on good terms and I have told him many times as well please respect my belongings.

Over the weekend I was out for a work event and apparently Darian invited some of his friends/lovers over. He told me before that they might crash the night, I told him that's fine. Well, when I come back I notice my sheets are weirdly misplaced and I investigate and when I lift up the sheets there is a DISGUSTING SMELL. And I look and there are brown stains on my bedsheets and in my special mattress.

I flip OUT, I take pictures of all of the damages. I confront him and he is like oh sorry man, it was some of my friends and they didn't know. I tell him he needs to pay me and he can get the money from his friends but this is on him they were his guests. And if he refuses to, I'll first contact his parents and then I'll go to small claims court. He is saying he will pay for the bedsheet but not for the mattress ,that the stain he will clean out. And that the mattress is too expensive t(he mattress is around 3.5k).

I told him I do not want to sleep on a shitty mattress and after he pays me he can have the mattress. He starts saying that I am being homophobic that if a straight couple had sex on my bed that I wouldn't be threatening them with small claims court. I am like if they pooped on my bed then yes I would. For me it is just gross to think of sleeping on this bed. And it has a special cooling technology so if I put a mattress topper on top of it, it completely ruins the effect.

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Me (23f) and my friends let's call them Harriet (22f) and Tommy (23m) are going to be moving into an apartment next year. My friend Harriet is a Muslim, I love and support her she gets a lot of shit for that kind of stuff in our country for that so I want to support her. Me and Tommy aren't religious, so we don't follow any teachings or beliefs, so we eat and drink anything we want.

Harriet said when we move in she only wants halal food in the house and I guess I can live with that however, I can only eat certain textures and eat specific food from certain places if it changes I freak out. The same goes for Tommy but he said he will be fine.

Another problem we came across is Harriet doesn't want any alcohol in the house but the issue is I'm a mixologist and its a passion of mine, I work in a cocktail bar so I like learning new drinks for my customers to try I really enjoy it. They want me to quit smoking, which I get I also want to quit but I do like smoking other things occasionally and I don't want to stop that

Another thing is whenever Harriets parents come over me and Tommy have to pretend were married but the thing is we're all queer and I'm visibley queer. Unfortunately, Harriets parents aren't of her so she can't come out to them.

I brought up how all this change we're doing to make her comfortable is making me uncomfortable I said I feel like I'm not living the life I want and I want to be able to do the things I want to do. I didn't choose this religion why should I follow the rules?

They both got upset at me, Tommy was a bit more understanding because he had to change to but he said I shouldn't have said that and that I was an asshole for it and Harriet just got upset and started to cry, now it's quite tense in the house.

AITA?

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I've been a hockey fan my entire life. It recently dawned on me that hockey is the only major sport where players are punished for infractions by effectively being put in time out.

I've been digging through the historical archives to try to figure out when this form of punishment was created and why. The 1923 book How to Play Ice Hockey has this description of the penalty box:

It often happens that a player, excited by the heat of play, will commit fouls that he would never do if he was cool and considerate. Generally a short rest in the timer's box will serve to make him see the folly of his actions and how much he handicaps his team by being off the ice.

I checked to see if other sports from the turn of the 20th century used to have similar punishments. That doesn't seem to be the case. For example, Football (1896) describes punishments similar to current NFL rules.

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Throwaway. I (28F) Have been married to my husband "Peter"(28M) for 5 years. Shortly after getting married we went to France and it was such an amazing time, but that's the only time we have ever traveled. I've always wanted to go to Japan and brought it up countless times but Peter has always been reluctant at best. He's given a couple reasons over the years but it being a drastically different culture than what we are used to and money have been the most recurring.

We hadn't done much of anything due to Covid obviously but with places opening up and stuff I've been asking again, he still's not sold. But he did agree to go on a trip a few weeks ago to the Packers's last game on their home field(He grew up there) for a few days, and it stung that he agreed to that so easily but is reluctant to travel with me somewhere romantic...

I'll admit I got desperate and in the moment bought plane tickets to Tokyo, Japan, for the same timeframe his trip was and surprised him with it. He actually seemed interested until he learned the dates, and then said no because of his already made plans. I asked him if he was really going to choose his friends/family over an amazing time with me and he said yes because I was not respecting his plans and called me an AH. He left, I was and still am heartbroken and I could not get a refund so I took our kid and I to my parents.

I'm still there now, but I let our son come back to him because school is closer to our house, but I told him I won't see or speak to him until he agrees to travel with me literally ANYWHERE at this point. We're currently at something of an impasse. My parents are letting me stay but are calling me a huge brat for acting like this, but do I deserve to be vilified just for wanting to do something fun as a couple? We haven't done anything in years! AIRTA here?

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Posted by9 hours ago

After 6 months of completely miserable job searching since I finished grad school in May, I finally hit rock bottom three weeks ago. As the months dragged on, recruiters became even LESS interested in me because they wanted an explanation for the “gap in my resume” since May. I’m pretty sure my resume got auto-filtered out of many applications because of this “gap”.

I did get a decent number of interviews (around 15 companies out of a few hundred applications over five months), but had no luck with getting an offer after final rounds. And of course each final round required a case study, presentation, and panel interview. Hours of HOURS of grinding and then rejection, over and over again. Between the mental and emotional exhaustion, and the constant rejection, I felt completely hopeless and started to accept that I probably wouldn’t find a job this year.

This recruiting shit is worse than dating!

My family became really worried about me as I completely lost interest in anything. For months, I didn’t go see any friends, wouldn’t leave the house for days or even a week at a time, and just spent hours and hours each day sitting in front of my computer, sending out applications and preparing for interviews and doing stupid take home assignments. I became dependent on several medications just to help me sleep at night.

Then, when I hit rock bottom, a point I felt like I just COULD NOT take it anymore, I realized that I was at a crossroads.

When shit seems this bad, you have two options:

  1. Be consumed by misery and pessimism and maybe never get a job (because your loss of confidence really does come out in your interviews, even if you don’t realize it), OR

  2. Force yourself to be optimistic (even though deep down you aren’t). Force a smile on your face and take some mental health days where you don’t do ANY recruiting shit, and keep telling yourself that things will work out in the end. It just might take a little longer.

HANG IN THERE. There is a light at the end of the tunnel; the tunnel just may be a lot longer than you expected.

And now, I finally have my first offer! In fact, I have two!! Maybe it’s just luck and coincidence. Maybe this is all bullshit. But doing whatever you can to reframe your mindset and force a bit of fake confidence won’t cost you anything, and it has the potential to help.

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Posted by17 hours ago

I've worked for the same company with my boyfriend for the last 3.5 years. We've been together about 2.5 years, and over that course of time, I've had some unsettling feelings about one of the female managers we work with. My boyfriend told me about one year ago that he thinks that "she has a crush on me" and that she once said something that he didn't quite hear, but what he thought he heard was a suggestive comment. Over the last couple of months, she's also said some things to me that definitely confirm she has at least been taking the time to develop thoughts about my boyfriend, such as teasing him that other female associates have a crush on him, telling me, "I mean, it makes sense - good looking guy who's there to help out hahaha right?" And I just sort of looked at her with a grossed out expression and a sarcastic "um.. yeah..." and walked away. The other day we were talking about an Australian woman who comes to visit her dad where we work (we work in healthcare), and she said to me, while my boyfriend was standing right next to me, to "imagine if he (my bf) had an Australian accent, with his body type, lol you'd be beating women off of him left and right hahaha" to which I also didn't respond to. Then, a few days later, my boyfriend and a couple of other people in the room were talking about working out. I mentioned as that it was humorous that I used to use a music technique book for guitar lessons called "pumping nylon," that had a flexed bicep on the cover, parodying the Schwarzenegger doc "pumping iron." My boyfriend mentioned what Schwarzenegger's arm were and said "yeah, my measurement is only about 15, Arnold's were like 22." (Honestly can't remember what he said Schwarzeneggers were, so, sorry Arnold, if I'm misquoting that). She proceeds to walk up to my boyfriend and say "OH SO LIKE THAT WOULD BE LIKE THIS FOR YOU." And starts to put her hands around his upper arm to demonstrate the difference. I literally just walked straight out of the room with no words when she she got close enough to make it obvious what she was doing. Thank God I have the kind of boyfriend who just left the room and followed me out, but that was just another obviously degrading behavior on her part. I can let some things go as being human error, because people say and do things sometimes without really catching themselves, but she's done this numerous times. She is at least 11 years older than my 25 year old boyfriend. She is also married, and has four kids. I have talked to him about how I won't accept being treated in a way that makes it seem like I have no concern for how people at work or anywhere else view our relationship, and if he invites behavior like that from others, I have to reconsider our relationship. I refuse to just let things like this happen, and I've been considering talking to HR about it, but don't want to do so if they'll just brush it off. Does anyone have any input as far as what to do would be? I would approach her about it, but it's not my place to do so as much as it is his. He is the one being actively harassed, but I'm also part of this as well, because it reflects on how others see me.

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Posted by12 hours ago

I'm currently making great money at my current job but it'll soon have to come to an end because my body seems to be falling apart. I'm close to 30 and I've been working retail, sales and customer service for my whole life.

Due to my physical condition, I'm applying for sedentary and WFH jobs. I've been applying to banks, transportation companies, city jobs, insurance companies, even call centers. I have over 10 years of experience in Sales in above entry level positions and I'm struggling to find work even at fucking call centers.

I never did a lot of post secondary due to personal reasons and I've accepted that my career path might be limited, but it's pretty eye opening to see how difficult it is to get seemingly any type of job.

I feel that Companies/managers see retail sales experience on my resume and immediately look down on or dismiss me. It's tough as hell to get out of this field, even though I was much more than a stocker or cashier.

I have no clue who these companies are hiring. You'd think that years of sales, driving and customer service experience would be enough to land a basic clerical or call center position, but nope! I've handed out a bunch of resumes, gotten a few interviews and nothing happens. I always hear stories on forums or from people I know in person who have little to no post secondary education and nothing more than retail experience getting hired at these places. For example there's people I used to work retail with who've gotten government jobs or jobs in insurance or office sales. Not me.

My last 2 jobs I've gotten through referrals so this is pretty eye opening for me. I'm in the GTA area in Canada btw. Completely fucked.

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Posted by3 hours ago

According to Wikipedia, Niketas Choniates was an historian who was in Constantinople at the time of the sack. He wrote:

The peasants and common riff-raff jeered at those of us from Byzantium and were thick-headed enough to call our miserable poverty and nakedness equality...Many were only too happy to accept this outrage, saying "Blessed be the Lord that we have grown rich", and buying up for next to nothing the property that their fellow-countrymen were forced to offer for sale, for they had not yet had much to do with the beef-eating Latins and they did not know that they served a wine as pure and unmixed as unadulterated bile, nor that they would treat the Byzantines with utter contempt.

The Wikipedia article's immediate source for the quotation is Michael Angold's 1997 book The Byzantine Empire 1025–1204.

I've heard previously that in premodern times it was common to dilute wine with water, so drinking it unmixed would be considered uncouth. But I'd never heard of anyone in Christendom--or non-Hindu really--take offense at the consumption of beef. What am I missing here?

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I won an auction for a home in San Bernardino County, California on an online property marketplace.

After the bidding was over, I received electronic confirmation that I had won the bid and multiple agents that I spoke to confirmed that I was the winner. They told me that another bidder was supposed to win using software that could automatically outbid me but that the software had failed. They said that despite that they would honor that I had won the bid.

However, the marketplace company secretly sold the property to the losing bidder that was supposed to outbid me at a significantly lower rate than my winning offer. My bid was an all-cash offer. I had demonstrated to the agents that I had all the funds needed available for the purchase and that I could close immediately. There was never any suggestion that I wasn't able to fulfil my offer.

When I inquired about the property, I was told the seller had backed out, so the auction was no longer valid. This was a lie. I checked county records to see that the property sold soon after the auction was over at the price that exactly matched my competitor's lower bid.

I have email confirmations of my winning the bid. I also took screenshots of the online auction as it happened, and I documented the interactions I had with the company's agents.

Is there any action I can take to have the property re-assigned to me?

Can I sue for compensation because I ended up buying a less favorable property instead?

What about contacting the seller to let them know that the marketplace tricked them out of a higher offer?

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I, 41F, told my niece(10), several weeks ago she could go trick or treating with us. Last week, she came over after school to play with my daughter(10). After about an hour of playing, my daughter comes out of her room in tears. I asked her what was wrong, and she said “niece told me you unalived my little brother.” I had a miscarriage several years ago. It was an extremely traumatizing experience as I almost died in the process. Daughter knows the truth, but it still hurt her to hear niece say that. I asked niece to come have a discussion with me as to why she would say such a thing. Her response was “Well, it’s true. Baby B died in you, so you unalived him.” I asked her where she heard that and her direct response was, “My mom told me that’s what happened.” She promptly left the room. I called her mom to come pick her up early, as my daughter was not in the mood to be around niece anymore. When mom arrived, I let her know the situation. Mom said, “Well, it’s not a lie. Baby B did died inside you. That in turn means you unalived him.” At that point I had enough and made them both leave my house, but not before telling niece she was no longer coming trick or treating with us. Her mom started to yell as she walked to her car, that I’m a horrible person for not letting niece go with us anymore. Her mom is now, calling my mom to try and convince me to change me mind. That’s not happening. So, am I the asshole??

Edit: my niece’s mom isn’t my sister. She is a family friend. Our girls have been together since they were infants.

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  • r/OneOrangeBraincell - World, meet Simba! We adopted him yesterday. He's neutered, dewormed, de-flead, and has tested negative for HPV and braincells!
  • r/OneOrangeBraincell - World, meet Simba! We adopted him yesterday. He's neutered, dewormed, de-flead, and has tested negative for HPV and braincells!
  • r/OneOrangeBraincell - World, meet Simba! We adopted him yesterday. He's neutered, dewormed, de-flead, and has tested negative for HPV and braincells!
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Posted by16 hours ago
  • r/recruitinghell - Choose Quebec... or don't, really.
  • r/recruitinghell - Choose Quebec... or don't, really.
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Posted by3 hours ago

So I was with a company I enjoyed. After 4 years, I eventually left because I was relocating to a different part of the state. It was my first job out of college and was located near my hometown.

A week before giving my 2 week notice, I transfered some personal files from my work computer onto my personal hard drive (digital birth certificate, tax info, etc). In doing this, I accidentally copied over 20,000+ documents related to work. After this was brought to my attention, I immediately (and voluntarily) handed over my personal hard drive to show I didn't mean anything by it.

Long story short, I was essentially terminated 1 week into my 2 week notice by HR and a member of the IT security team ( both located in two different states). After looking at both individuals backgrounds, they had only been with the company for about 6 months before they stumbled onto "my case". I feel as if they tried to prove their worth to the company by trying to gaslight me into saying I knowingly took confidential documents (which were work related but not business essential - even though they said they were) and use them against the company.

After being removed from the company for 18 months I reached out to HR to see if there is any chance for employment with the company in the future. They said it was highly unlikely.

So I want to know if there is a blacklist the company would keep. And if so, is there a way to get off it? If the head of HR leaves and so does the IT security lead, can I explain my case to a new set of individuals? I only ask because I really enjoyed the work and the company. I left with the plan of coming back in a few years after trying out other types of industry related jobs (agriculture based). I worked really hard for the 4 years I was there to make a name for myself and to try and move up the ladder. Even so much so that I would have conversations with the Head of our North America division. I just have the feeling my name was dragged through the mud by two people that don't know me and have no idea what they were talking about with these "confidential" documents.

Any info from HR individuals would be very much welcome.

Edit: the transferred files were all done within minutes so it must have been a drag and drop situation of a folder that contained sub folders and so on. Also, the comments really opened my eyes to how serious an outsider takes this without any detailed context - similar to the individuals in my story. I must've been incredibly naive to the functions of large companies

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Posted by18 hours ago

I will be calling my moms by their fakes names here, but I don't do this IRL.

CONTEXT:

I (f14) live with my biological mother “Leah” (f35) and my adoptive mother “Haley” (f37), they are a couple. My biological dad (uncle) is actually Haley's brother. Yes, I was conceived using artificial insemination.

Until two weeks ago, I didn't know who was my biological dad. I only found out because Haley forgot her email logged on my notebook and I read all her emails from the year I was born. Yes, I know that invading my mom's privacy is wrong, but I have been begging them for information about this matter and they refused to give me because I'm too "young". Nobody knows that I know yet.

When I look back I see that it was obvious from the beginning. That's why I look a lot like Haley, and my Dad have paid for my private school all these years. And he also gave me expensive gifts on holidays. Besides, my dad invited us to local trips several times and my moms never accepted, and they never let me go alone as well.

CONFLICT:

I went out with my moms last weekend to buy a dress for a school event that I will be attending. I purposely chose a dress that is a little bit too revealing to my taste, just because I wanted to check out if my dad would say something about it. I'm certain he wouldn't buy that dress for my cousins (his daughters). Although my moms were completely supportive of my choice.

Two days ago (I didn’t have school this day), when my moms left for work, I went to my dad’s house, under the excuse that I wanted to show my dress to my cousin. She’s attends the same school I do and she also will be attending the event. When my dad saw my dress he asked me if I didn't think that the dress was a little bit to short and if I was sure that I wanted to use it in front of all my colleagues.

I answered that I wasn't certain anymore. So he invited me to go with him and my cousin back to the store and take a look on other dresses (they still didn't had bought my cousin a dress). In the end we exchange the revealing dress for a more conservative one, but they were the same color and equally beautiful. In our way back my dad took us to eat ice cream and he drove me back home.

Today, when my moms found out that I replaced the old dress, they started berating me, and telling me how ungrateful I was for exchanging the dress, and how irresponsibly I was for going out without permission. I think they are overreacting and they don’t really care about the old dress, they just took the exchange like a personal attack / rejection.

My dad's home is ten minutes away from our home, so it isn't like I went to the other side of the country with a stranger. And I just wanted to have a nice time with him once in my life, AITA?

PS: my dad makes more money than my moms (I don't know how much), he's married and has more kids than me and my cousin.

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  • r/wasletztepreis - Hier ist jemand ganz Professionell unterwegs
  • r/wasletztepreis - Hier ist jemand ganz Professionell unterwegs
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  • r/LinkedInLunatics - What?
  • r/LinkedInLunatics - What?
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Crossposted by9 hours ago
nsfw
  • r/AmazonDSPDrivers - NATIONWIDE NO-SHOW OCTOBER 31st ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ (swipe for article headline and how Amazon Responded)
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  • r/AmazonDSPDrivers - NATIONWIDE NO-SHOW OCTOBER 31st ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ (swipe for article headline and how Amazon Responded)
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Posted by13 hours ago
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The longest she’s been in the car so far has been about 15 minutes, and she is anxious, freaked out and crying the whole time. I have had her carrier out with a blanket in it for a few weeks and she really loved sleeping in there at first. Lately she hasn’t been super into it. Help!

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Posted by35 minutes ago

Throwaway as my girlfriends psycho friends are on here.

I 20M met my girlfriend 20 freshman year of college. We both lived in dorms but this year I moved in with my 3 of my friends and she moved in with her 4 of friends 3 doors down from me (this is important later) She asked to move in together but I wasn’t ready for that which I told her and she was fine and said maybe next year.

We were coming up to our two year anniversary. We arrange to go out for a meal. I got ready and walked down to her house to pick her up. One of her friends told me she wasn’t home yet so I said I would phone her.

I got home and my friend said he had just seen her coming out of a house a street over. I phoned her and she told me that she was running late at work.

At that point my other roommate came home saying that she had been caught sleeping with someone else’s boyfriend and there was a huge fight going on between her and the girlfriend of the man.

We went to see what was going on and lots of people were showing me photos of her and him. So I just walked away, went home and left her to it.

She turns up the next evening to talk (at this point she doesn’t know that I know. I didn’t have any classes that day so didn’t go to campus) She tries to rearrange our date and I just said how long has it been going on. She admits it’s been about a year and wants to talk. We talk for a bit but she just keeps justifying herself and trying to make me be in the wrong.

I ended up throwing her out at 2am and telling her we are over.

She literally lives 3 doors away but her friends are calling me the AH for not making sure she gets home safe. Others are calling me the AH for not giving her another chance. Some are saying it was a mistake but in my opinion a mistake is once not a whole year

Maybe I am the AH here for not making sure she got home safe but surely not about anything else. I genuinely thought she could cope with walking the length of 3 houses by herself.

Why do other people’s opinions make you doubt yourself so much. It’s so screwed up

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Posted by12 hours ago
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Posted by8 minutes ago

Hey friends,

I need advice on a situation I find myself in.

Background is that I returned to work from parental leave 7 months ago on a part-time basis (3 days at first, currently 4 days). It was a new role in a new company.

Just this week, a promotion opportunity was offered to me, taking a significant step in my career (portfolio HRBP to full-function HR Manager for two countries). It will expedite my experience by several years and although a steep learning curve lies ahead, my boss is incredibly supportive and wants to see me succeed. She believes I’ve proved myself in my time there. It’s not an opportunity that has ever come up before in my career, nor probably will again. I have dreamed of an opportunity like this becoming available to me!

But here’s the thing. I’m the Mum to a beautiful 16mo daughter. In taking this opportunity I would need to work full-time and there will be more requirement to work in office (currently 1.5 hours away). It would also come with occasional travel requirements, sometimes for a day, sometimes for a few nights.

From a financial perspective, the pay increase is substantial. It’s about 60k per year gross. It would provide a strong foundation for our family and future.

My concern in taking the role is really about losing precious time with my daughter. I am her world and I know she is only this young for a short time. I would have less time in the morning and evenings with her, and we lose our day off together. Weekends would largely be the same though, albeit I will be a bit more tired.

My head says yes but my heart feels unsure. I feel like either way, I will have regret.

What would you do? Any advice from those with experience in taking on a big promotion with young family?

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Posted by14 hours ago
WholesomeNarwhal Salute

I’m (21F) am currently 7 months pregnant with a girl, I’m engaged to the babies father but he’s pretty much left the naming to me (and is fine with the name I’ve picked)

Now I could try and make up a story about how it’s my great grandmas name or whatever, it isn’t.

I like Stevie Nicks, I like her music and honestly I don’t know why the name Stevie for a girl just seems really cool, it stands out to me and I was like “I could totally see that being my babies name!”

It’s cool and I like it those are my reasons, I probably wouldn’t call my son it so I don’t know why it sticks out so much to me as a girls name - I think of other girls names and they don’t make me think of my daughter, but she hasn’t even been born yet.

I like the name Elenor too but my partner said it reminds him of a grandma, so that’s been ruled off.

Anyway I told my family and they think I’d be an AH because Stevie is a boys name (even though Stevie Nicks is a woman?) and that she’d get bullied…and I’m conflicted, but I love the name.

My mother is going as far to try and find a feminine nickname…Sally? And I’d lose it if she called my daughter Sally, because I hate that name (no offence to anyone who knows or is a Sally, it just makes me think of Sally from hollyoaks)

Out of all the names out there I don’t think this is truly awful.

We’ve decided on a pretty traditional middle name, Grace, but I don’t think it’d sound right the other way around and if she grew up and went by her middle name I wouldn’t be hurt but it’s not necessary that she’ll grow to be upset with it as her name.

Edit; TIL Stevie is short for Stephanie So WIBTA?

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Posted by12 hours ago
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I think it makes my cat unique. Just wondering if anyone else has a cat like mine.

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  • r/cats - Very seriously considering adopting this baby. He has early kidney disease, is there anything I should know beforehand?
  • r/cats - Very seriously considering adopting this baby. He has early kidney disease, is there anything I should know beforehand?
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Posted by17 hours ago

Last week I (F 21) was supposed to go to Paris for a week with my friends. My Niece J (6) was understandably very jealous when she found out we’d be spending a few days in Disneyland, and started begging me to take her. I told her I couldn’t but promised to bring back presents for her and S (2.5) my nephew. My sister K (26) even said that maybe they could go on their holiday next year. This wasn’t good enough for J so she started whingeing, and then screaming, so my sister took her home. This was a week last Wednesday, they came round on the Sunday, the day before I was due to leave.

I was packing my suitcase and had all the things I was taking spread around my room, my passport was on my desk, but when I went to pack it it was gone. I couldn’t find it anywhere, neither had my parents or sister. We finally found it in the possession of my nephew, and he’d ripped through the page with my photo rendering it useless. When my sister asked him what he was doing with it he told us that J had given it to him. My sister started interrogating J and she finally admitted that it wasn’t fair that I got to go to Disney and she didn’t, so she gave it S and told him they were playing hide and seek with it. She’s been abroad and knows that I can’t go without my passport.

There was no time to get a new passport so I didn’t get to go on the holiday I’d been saving ages for and it was late to get a refund. The cost of the holiday, the park tickets I’d already paid for and the replacement passport totals at £725, and I told my sister I want her to pay me back. She said that S is only little and he didn’t know what he was doing, I told her I believe that, but her daughter knew full well what she was doing. I did tell her if she couldn’t do it in one go I was happy to accept instalments. She refused and she and her partner are acting like I’m an asshole, my mum and dad are siding with me though and telling them they should pay me back. My sister said they’d have to take the money out of the savings they have for the kids Christmas presents, and was I happy for taking away their Christmas? I reminded her she didn't have to pay in one go.


Edit to answer some FAQs:

I looked into an emergency passport and claiming on my insurance. An emergency passport takes a week and I was due to travel the next day. Insurance does not cover you if you don't have a passport prior to travelling, only if it's lost while on holiday.

My niece has been punished, my sister told her that there was absolutely no way they'd be going to Disney next year. I also gave her my own form of punishment: My friends still went on holiday, and I gave them some of my Euros to get me some Disney swag, I asked them if they could get a Nemo cuddly for my nephew (he's Nemo mad, I didn't blame him for the incident because he's only little), I made a big show of making it clear she got nothing, but that she would have done if she hadn't taken my passport and she'd brought it on herself.

I still had an older burgundy passport, the photo page was paper and easily ripped.

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Posted by4 hours ago

I am a 62 female. I have a daughter Michelle she is 25 and her daughter who is 5. I let my daughter move in 8 months ago due to her having a separation and she told me she was having financial issues. I told her she could stay, but that this living situation was temporary and not permanent. I told her she needed to save up quickly and not to expect to lean on me because I know when I give Michelle an inch she always takes a mile.

Since Michelle has been living under my roof, she has been nagging me about babysitting. Now, I told Michelle when she got here that I was not going to be her 24/7 handy nanny under any circumstances and to not treat me as such. I am 62 and would like to have peace and quiet and live my life. I told Michelle upfront that she needed to figure out daycare.

During her stay she continued to disrespect me and break my house rules. My granddaughter is homeschooled so I told her that she either needed to find a stay at home job or figure out daycare expenses. She has done neither of the such has made my life harder than it has to be. I charge her $350 a month on rent, which is a very big discount being that her daughter and herself take up 2 rooms in my home and my rent is $2900/month.

These past few weeks, I have been asking Michelle every single day what’s the plan. What is her plan, when will she move. She gives me excuse after excuse and gives me names of people who she says she will stay with and each time I ask, her answer varies. I had her give me the numbers of these people who she says tells her she can stay there.

This morning, my daughter and my granddaughter went off to hang out a friend. I told her she needed to find someplace to go many many months ago as I mentioned this move was temporary. I Called one of the friends whose number she gave me and asked about the living arrangement. I was told that she never asked to live with her but that they both would be welcome for a few weeks. I confirmed and told her they would be on their way.

After taking apart my granddaughters plastic bed and gathering their belongings in bags, I sent my daughter a text and told her their things were outside on the porch.

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Posted by17 hours ago
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Posted by8 hours ago
SilverTake My Energy

My (F27) best friend (F27) is getting married in February. She has been planning her wedding for 2 years and I have been actively helping her the entire time as her maid of honor. I am extremely excited for her to get married, but she is slightly controlling. She's the kind of girl that has to have everything perfect or it's completely ruined. But her wedding, her rules.

Well, I found out I was pregnant at the beginning of October and am due toward the end of June. This is my first baby and I have struggled heavily with fertility issues so this is a literal miracle baby. My husband and I had literally just given up hope in trying for a little while this past summer. I will be in my second trimester during the time of her wedding. Well, I told my best friend last week and she seemed... upset. She wasn't too happy that I was pregnant and her first question is if I would fit in my bridesmaid dress. The dress is extremely flowy and I told her that I should be just fine, and if not I'll cover the cost of any alternations/buying another dress (I bought my dress in the first place anyways). Like literally her first question, not even congratulations.

I tried to shrug it off and just assumed she was stressed. Her bachelorette party is next month (I've been exclusively planning it) so I just reached out with the final details to her to confirm everything. During the phone call she tried to make me feel bad that I wouldn't be drinking with the rest of them and that it wouldn't be the "bach party of her dreams" and I told her it would still be fun. That upset me even more, but I just tried to shrug it off once again.

Today she called and told me she had a "hard decision" to make but she's been thinking about it and while she would like to keep me MOH she doesn't want me in her pictures. She said that my bump would be too distracting, she didn't want her pictures to turn into a "maternity photoshoot" and that she just didn't feel comfortable with it. However, she still wanted me to pay for the bachelorette party, help her plan the wedding, and wanted me to do almost everything MOH except be in pictures and she was debating if she still wanted me to give a speech. She then sent me a bunch of bag-like dresses to choose from as my new dress since I won't need my MOH dress.

We have been best friends since we were 10. I would have never in my wildest dreams expected her to act this way. WIBTA for dropping out of her wedding? I really don't feel like paying for, and being supportive of, a person who treats me like a disposable mooch after years of fertility issues. But I also feel like I may be overreacting as some of my friends said that I would look odd in the pictures. Thoughts?

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Posted by14 hours ago

Hello, I work for a company in Germany.

I joined a new company a few months back and am currently on a probation period. I was hired by a manager who then left the company but had given a good feedback about me before leaving.

After that, I am assigned to a different manager who was not on good terms with the person who hired me. The new manager doesn't support me or communicate much with me. There were some hostilities from his side, where he chided me for even the smallest mistakes. He even tried to publicly shame me for a minor oversight.

After that, I took the initiative of reaching out to my manager and clarifying any misunderstandings that we had. I insisted on more open communication between us. Things improved for a short while and he gave me a satisfactory review in my pre-confirmation assessment and said that in a few weeks I'll be confirmed.

After that in a group setting he made a personal attack on me. I told him firmly that there should be boundaries and I will not accept such comments in the future. He is using my response as "bad behavior" on my part and has reopened the already closed assessment and told me he will fire me before confirmation if I don't change my behavior.

In order to avoid conflicts, I have been following his instructions since last many months. He gives me one instruction in a private conversation and contradicts it in group setting and asks me why did I do it? He uses this as a reason for dismissal. I have documented proof of him asking me do certain things and when I did them, he using that as a reason to fire me.

My mental health has taken a huge toll because of this hostile work environment. I've decided to leave this job, even though I don't have another job lined up so far.

I know as an employee in probation, I don't have any rights. So, I'll leave quietly. But is there any law stopping me from sharing my experience with proof publicly? I really don't want anyone else to suffer the way I did.

If you have experience with employment law, please share your thoughts. Also, if you know any affordable legal counsel with whom I can clarify my rights about going public, please point me to them.

Thank you for your help 🙏🏻

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Posted by1 day ago
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A couple weeks ago I took a fall and injured my arm. I will admit I have been known for exaggerating things in the past, so my mom didn't believe me. After a few days I decided to let it go and move on. Self medicating and all that.

Anyway, life moved on as normal. Last week, on day eight of pain, my mom told me I had to clean my room; pretty understandable, but my room is also used as the storage room so I was told to move the boxes around as my grandpa was coming to stay and didn't want him to trip on anything (he sleeps in my bed).

The boxes are heavy and it really hurt. I asked her to help, she said no, so I pushed through. Didn't do much because it hurt.

I devised a plan; if I continued to lift until my grandpa got there it would probably hurt more and he'd actually react to it.

It was a bad idea. I lifted one of the heavier boxes and felt something pull in my arm and it was white hot pain. Thankfully he got in literally minutes later. I don't think my mom would of believed me if he didn't.

He ended up taking me to the hospital where they told me my arm was broken; they think it was just fractured and then I sort of forced it into a worse break by lifting things.

My grandpa ended up taking me back to his instead, which is pretty cool. My mom feels guilty, and has blamed me for not being more "truthful" in the past. If I hadn't lied previously, she would have believed me and all that.

Grandpa disagrees with her, and I did tell him what I'd planned - he said it was the wrong thing to do, and I shouldn't plan things purely to get other people in trouble - which is what I'd done. I hoped if it was bad enough my grandpa would blame my mom for it and she'd feel bad.

I mean, it worked. I obviously don't like the broken arm side of it, but I guess its karma for intentionally trying to get my own way.

So, AITA? I know I'm in the wrong - you know, boy who cried wolf and all that. But I still feel like I'm being treated unfairly. I'm grounded for my troubles and had to apologise to my mom. She hasn't apologised to me, which I think is unfair.

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Similar to r/askswitzerland

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Posted by19 hours ago

I’m not interested in wasting 30 minutes walking them through what they could read on my profile. I used to fall for this. A little wiser now.

If a recruiter reaches out to you unsolicited, make sure there is really a there there.

If a recruiter is truly interested in you and really has something (not just phishing), they will tell you the role details, company, and approved compensation range before they even talk to you on a call.

The real ones don’t want their time wasted any more than you like your time wasted. These types are just getting paid to add your contact details to their system. They use this to tell their clients how great their candidate database is and they also sell your contact details to 3rd parties.

Always be polite, but don’t let them disrespect your time and/or get your data for free.

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Posted by14 hours ago
Wholesome

My wife and I just got back from our honeymoon/ settled in our first ever house and decided to invite both of our families to dinner to celebrate. My wife takes a lot of pride in our house and her new wife role so this was a big deal to her.

My mom came with her BF "Ted" and his teenage daughter "Emmy". Now for some context I think Ted is an asshole and the kid isn't great either, but I guess gets a pass because no one taught her manners. My mom thinks the sun shines out of Ted's ass and treats Emmy like her do over child. For dinner we had chicken, potatoes, salad, and squash. Everyone was free to get their own condiments.

During dinner Emmy began whining and complained we only had the mustard type of honey mustard and not the salad dressing kind and she only likes the salad dressing. Ted told her to just pick something else, then laughed about how what my mom was doing looked interesting (pouring soy sauce on everything) Then he loudly announced that "if you season food while you cook it, you don't have to pour condiments all over it"

I looked to my wife and saw her looking like she was about to cry. My mom giggled so i glared at her. She stopped but didn't say anything. I announced that it is rude as fuck to walk into someone else's house and insult their hosting. He tried to laugh it off and be like "well we are all family now" I was furious and demanded he apologize. He said he was sorry but then muttered how he doesn't like cold condiments on warm food, but this food needs something.

I told him to get the fuck out. Emmy was like oh good we can go get other food. My mom said nothing to either of them and just asked if I was serious. I said I was and if she wants to chose him that is fine, but they need to get out. My mom snapped at me that I have a wife and a new life and of course she is going to chose him and called me delusional.

They left and MIL and her husband berated me about how rude I was and "it wasn't that big of a deal" now my mom is angry and says I was just acting like a spoiled brat because I hate Ted and pointed out that when MIL first started dating her husband he said some much worse stuff and he got a second chance. I told my mom I really do love her and want her in my life but Ted is banned as he was cruel for no reason and hurt my wife.

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Because you visited this community before

Posted by5 hours ago
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Hey Guys,Im back again to serve you with 5 Cool ideas todo in Zurich.After so much positiv feedback from you guys I felt its an extremly needed Post, so expect it to happen weekly !

lets get right into it

  1. Group Cold Bath ? There is a Group of People Meeting every Saturday morning ( 9pm) in the pool of Tiefenbrunnen to practice swimming during cold tempratures ( Wim Hof Method) [Its Free and Fun]

  2. Underground Secret Bar La Cathedral - During the prohibition of Alcohol in 1920 (USA) Bars needed to open up Secretly, NOW La Cathedral has adjusted their Bar to the same theme , you only get in if you subscribe to their newsletter to get the Passwort for the Week also they are known to be the best when it comes to Mezcal drinks as they are the owner of the Mezcaleria

  3. Street Food Park, in the mits of the trainstation HB they build a festival of international culinary food with over 300 different meals from around the globe, good for dates with your crush, friends or family !

  4. If you like chicken and you like spicy, YARDBIRD is the place to be ! they by far have the best wings in town!! You want to challenge yourself with their spicy Wings ( they offer a reward for surviving this challenge) they even have a monthly event to see who is going to be the Spice King !

  5. You and your friends liked Takeshis Castel ? challenge yourself in the Adventure Arena! its a battlefield field with 20 missions where you need the whole spectrum of skills, from brains to muscle to creativity, you can group up and challenge your friends in the 1h challenge they offer![Great for bigger friend groups (3-5+) and Teambuilding]


So guys i hope i hit everybodys taste this week if not , catch me next week with a new set of activities for zurich.

Leave Feedback in the Comments .

Cheers

Kami

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Ghosts of employees past

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Comment as EvilHRLady

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It's gonna take a loooot of pizzaparties to fix this booboo.

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Yup, thays a f**k load of pizza needed.

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Not really.

Most of the mouths they’d be feeding are gone.

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You're right, can we upgrade to a deep dish bankruptcy?

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Y'all get pizza parties!?!?!

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Yeah but we have to chip in to buy the pizza

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Only if we can go 1,000 days without an accident on the job.

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Ya sorry the pizza is luke warm. The microwave is on the fritz. Ya so like enjoy. No body appreciates what we do for them anymore!

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"Pizza Party" = 1 large pepperoni or plain cheese pizza cut in to 40 thin slices, and 2-liter soda for 75 Adults..

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booboo

Love it

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That’s fucked up. Name & shame

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· 12 hr. ago · edited 12 hr. ago

It has to be a threat for the remainers

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I checked the comments to see if the company was ever revealed and didn’t see anything

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Can we just say it's Tesla or Goldman Sachs?

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Or twitter

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If that’s true then that’s messed up

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Nah, set one up in the boss' office with the boss' name on it.

When the boss asks about it you just look at your watch and say "oh shoot, guess we set that one up a bit early, huh? Oh well."

Boss can't say shit about it being a threat or creating a hostile work environment if they were the one to OK the others.

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Whoa whoa, calm down satan!

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😂

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level 1

Wow talk about poor taste. She should quit and make her own ghost

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BuT on r/recruitinghell they say "GiVe yOuR 2 WeEkz iN CasE yoU waNt to Go bAck"

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Fuck that I'm quitting cause I don't want to come back

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No they don't. They repeatedly say not to give two weeks. Link any post/comment that says that.

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· 58 min. ago
lazy and proud

Yeah that sounds more like r/recruiting

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Walk into the boss' office, don't say a word, leave one of these with her own name, and walk out.

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Weird up the situation by putting the boss's name on the ghost.

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level 1

I just. Who thought that was funny. "Lol wouldn't it be great if we made ghost decorations and named them after the people we laid off because it's like they're dead to us?" the FUCK

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What if you hate your company and they put you in charge of the halloween party?

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· 56 min. ago
lazy and proud

I'd go a different route.

Luther's 95 theses were posted on October 31st, so I'd make 95 complaints against the company and stick them on the boss's door and in the break room

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level 4

Sticking doesn't have the same symbolic weight. Use an actual hammer and nail. People will be impressed with the dedication it took to find a hammer and nail at work, which will add a little legitimacy to your message.

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It’s pretty dark. Almost as if someone in the company wanted this reported on OR had their empathy removed via surgery.

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Feels very "shitty sales culture" to me. I've been in tech sales for 25+ years and could easily see this happening at bad places I've worked.

One of the managers who my wife worked for kept all of the name plates of people who quit working for him on the wall of his cubicle, true story.

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Because it’s a joke. It’s Halloween I agree with a lot on this sub but this isn’t hurting anyone.

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level 1

This was probably done by someone still working there being critical of management, not by management themselves--at least, not the management level responsible for the layoffs.

I could easily read this as "this is how full the office used to be before they made us all do 3 people's jobs."

90
User avatar
level 2

this was my take as well. someone that wasn't laid off but emotionally is done with this fucking place (whatever/wherever it is)

30
User avatar
level 2

Geez I really hope it's been done with that intent instead of the other way. If it was the latter and I still worked there I'd be making my own ghost to join them.

3
User avatar
level 2

This is definitely a stunt aimed at management by those left in the office.

6
User avatar
level 1

The messaging is clear, toe the line or join the ghost we made. This is done not as a joke but as a reminder of who carries the whip around there.

23
User avatar
level 1

Wait what

Did the actual COMPANY do this?

I thought it was like some kind of protest by workers who are stillworking there

20
User avatar
level 1

Really fucked up to make a joke about that smh

5
User avatar
level 1

Wow.

7
User avatar
level 1

Oh my fucking god what the fuck

13
User avatar
level 1

Fucking sick minded people.

11
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level 1

Would love to know what company this is. Her face is on video too, so she must be okay becoming a ghost.

7
User avatar
level 1

If I walked in on that I'd build my own ghost at my desk and leave and never contact them again.

3
User avatar
level 1

Do you think they laid them off just to make this joke

3
User avatar
level 1

Depending on the context this could be hilarious

Could be a passive aggressive message to upper management from a mid-level manager. A way of saying "you fired everyone, now I have no one, ya dumb bean counters"

If it's HR and friends- then yeah- fuck those ass holes.

3
User avatar
level 1

Wow

2
User avatar
level 1

This is fucked up in so many ways

2
User avatar
level 1

The sound makes it so creepy 😟

2
User avatar
level 1

Holy fuck, they’re literally mocking people whose mouths/families that they’ve taken food out of.

2
User avatar
level 1

It would be better if they had arts and crafts to make the ghosts.

And if at the end of the workday they handout goodie bags, with pumpkin shaped note cards with a mint chocolate (like from the hotels)

And the card reads:

trick or treat! hope you had a spooky last day

p.s. it’s a trick! The chocolate mint wrapper is empty. Leave the ghost and your work id as they are constructed from work materials.

4
level 1

This is fucked up, but also funny.

4
level 2

Why are you the only one admitting this? I laughed out loud. Still think it's very fucked up.

4
level 3

Not sure! I’m sure many let out a small laugh.

1
level 1

there's a special place in hell for this employer and the ones who assisted in this decoration.

2
level 1

I don’t think it’s true because it’s Tik Tom.

2
level 1

This is seriously fucked up

1
level 1

OSHA would love this.

0
level 2
· 3 hr. ago
Communist

...what?

1
level 1

I guess this is the only time employees’ names actually mattered.

1
level 1

Way to increase worker morale!

1
level 1

Company is run by a bunch of heartless sociopaths.

1
level 1
· 9 hr. ago
Freelance Stoner

Gross.

1
level 1

Oof!

1
level 1

Dat filter on dat lady is crazy

1
level 1

Am I the only one who thought this was low key funny? Like sure, definitely in poor taste, but I laughed.

1
level 1

honestly this would be much easier to appreciate if it was the work of an employee with a need to procrastinate and a dark sense of humor.

1
level 1

It’s cartoonishly evil

1
level 1

Major power play, like when they use to display the severed heads of the enemy on pikes in front of cities.

1
level 1

That’s cold

1
level 1

That is fucking disgusting

1
level 1

What happens when you give zero fucks.

1
level 1

This is kinda funny tbh.

1
level 1

Savage

1
level 1

When you're pissed the company laid off so many workers; but they put you in charge of the Halloween party. This is some dark protest art.

1
level 1

That is super duper low class. My goodness I am embarrassed for them.

1
level 1

So cute. . .

1
level 1

Belongs in r/trashy too

1
level 1

That's disturbing

1
level 1

That's getting into "Call Me Chris One More Time" territory.

1
level 1

Another way they're celebrating Halloween: the management are all fucking ghouls.

1
level 1

Idgaf that’s a funny one

1
level 1

I'd relocate some of these puppets in a way to highlight office affairs. Like put Mary's ghost and Johns together in the pantry.

1
level 1

Once did an investigation into misconduct against this crazy guy who ran a sub business of the company I worked for.. as well as making sexual jokes and carry illegal knives round he also left the original chart that showed the employees by picture in the foyer of the building, and everytime he managed to fire someone he got a pen and just crossed them off the chart. He was such a dick. We found him guilty of pretty much ever awful thing you can imagine and shipped him out (he was on secondment) and said "you have to fire him" but he had friends in high places and they protected him and that was one of those moments I realised that big companies will always be arseholes cause they protect their own

1
level 1

The fuck?

1
level 1
· 3 hr. ago
Communist

laughing as we unionize

1
level 1

It's a hint, employees should start ghosting this company.

1
level 1

Is this Twitter??

Vote
level 1

"Had to."

My dad was in the automative industry (parts) for 20 years. His boss let everyone go during the great recession. You'd think it's because he was losing money. Oh no, he thought being in " the red" was not making as much as he projected to make. He was still turning a profit if you didn't include the ridiculous salary he paid himself. He shut down the dealership and fired all of his employees because he wasn't making as much money as he wanted to, and by the way, he did absolutely nothing to run the place because he had a general manager and a manager for every department, so he could have just ignored it and let everyone keep their jobs and just make less money and do something else to make money. The property just sat there, so it's not like he had a buyer or anything.

Vote
level 1

Companies treat their employees like this and than wonder why they can't hire anyone new in a few months.

Vote
level 1

"We're a family. "

Vote
level 1

Management approved ghosts....

Vote
level 1

Damn, Twitter goin hard...

Vote
level 1

Who thought that was a good idea? That's literally so fucked up, my God. And they thought this was cute?!

Vote
level 1

What better way to improve your employees morale than to remind them about their non-existent job security?

Vote
level 1

Has to be fake..

Vote
level 1

I once worked for a security company. Uniforms had a name plate that had two pins in the back. Whenever he would fire someone the operations manager would pin the name plate to the wall behind his desk like a trophy. Guy was a dick. Ironically after like 20 years I heard he got fired.

Vote
level 1

This belongs in r/trashy as well

Vote
level 1

Leak to press with name of company

Vote
level 1

I enjoy this sub, but this made me lol. It’s Halloween it’s a joke.

Vote
level 1

😂🤣😂😂😅😂🤣🤣😂😅😅😂🥲🤣😂🤣😂🤣

Vote
level 1

Shareholders got paid though so the company is ....good??

Vote
level 1

That’s so fucked

Vote
level 1

Why all the effort, just invest in a big sign that says “REMEMBER, YOURE EXPENDABLE”

Vote
level 1

Do a Ghosts of The Future and put dummies with a knife in the eye outside the managers' office.

0
level 1

Laid ppl off but had money and resources leftover to set this up ?

0
level 1

That’s when you put the same setup in your cubicle and put ghost of employee future and walk the fuck out.

0
level 1

That’s a dead company walking.

0
level 1

This looks like a passive aggressive statement from an employee rather than the company itself. Although I wouldn't be surprised jf it was the boss.

Vote
level 2

Why are you even on this sub if your first inclination is to vilify an employee and bootlick an employer?

Vote
A subreddit for those who want to end work, are curious about ending work, want to get the most out of a work-free life, want more information on anti-work ideas and want personal help with their own jobs/work-related struggles.
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