I received this question:

I have been working for my current employer for almost 7 years.  Over the past year they have fired 2 people and pushed 1 to quit.  I have been given all 3 of the individuals work upon there termination/resignation.  The company has refused to hire any new employees to relief the workload.  They also refuse to grant me a title for almost 7 years.  When I ask when I will get a title they ask me why I want a title…they then proceed to tell me “titles are over rated”…as all other employees have titles.  Suddenly over the last two weeks they are telling me they need me to start traveling across the country and to change my work schedule.  I refuse to travel to our market shows as I am not a salesperson, I manage an office…which does not require any type of travel.  I do not know why they keep piling more work and demands on top of me.  When I ask them when they plan to hire some employees to cover the work from the ex employees the owner tells me “sooner than you think”…I have not received a performance review in over 2 years.  This does not seem right.  If I quit the job I will not qualify for unemployment…but if they fire me and tell unemployment I am not doing what they told me to then I believe i will not get unemployment either.  Please help.  i feel like I am under too much stress which I have seen a cardiologist about and he has determined it is stress and not a heart condition.  I do not know where to turn.

I don’t have a great answer off the top of my head, so I’m turning it over to you. Can you please use your brilliance (singular and collective!) to help this person out?

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24 thoughts on “Readers, can you help?

  1. You don’t need a title to apply for other jobs. Apply for other jobs. You’re not trapped, and this job seems like it is making you way anxious.

    And keep seeing doctors! There are ways to treat “just stress” (I assume the cardiologist was consulted because you are having a real problem- could be panic attacks, which are very treatable.)

    You’re not going to be able to fix the problems at work, so you need to work on yourself and the work effects you, while you find yourself a better situation.

  2. Very ugly and all too familiar.

    1. Compile a detailed after-the-event diary of all actions they have taken since they dumped the first person’s workload on you. (It would be great if you had been keeping a diary of all this as you went along, but you can build one fairly quickly from your work appointments diary plus the email trail.)

    1a. Simultaneously, start active job-hunting – one way or another, it sounds like you need to vote with your feet before all this starts taking a long-term toll on your health.

    2. Speak to a lawyer friend and get a candid opinion on how this situation will play in your jurisdiction. Laws vary widely on this, as do precedents.

    3. If your case is strong, hire a real lawyer and have an assertive meeting with your boss’ boss. Tell him/her that the company’s behaviour has been unacceptable, that you have been accommodating of a massive amount of change and workload increase, that you are a good corporate citizen, but something has to change. If he starts making aggressive noises, write them down in front of him and tell him that you have taken legal advice, that the company’s position is indefensible and that you are now going back to your lawyer with his aggressive response. then walk out of the room.

    If you are fired on the spot, you have a case against them. If not, you now have leverage to try and make the situation somewhat bearable while you job-hunt your way out of there. Either way, it’s time to get away from these neanderthals!

  3. I believe Squid is offering good advice. You need to work on yourself and become more assertive. I know it’s tough, but you need to communicate calmly and clearly what you are prepared to do and not do. You appear to do a good job for this organisation, so I don’t think they would fire you. And if they do, who’s going to do all the work you do. I don’t know what country you are in, but by the way you talk, it sounds like you would be entitled to unemployment benefit. And I’m sure that if your present employer fired you after seven years, then I don’t think they could stop you receiving unemployment.
    I believe that you do need to find another job, because as Squid says, you are not going to be able to fix the problems at work.
    But start to believe in yourself; and stand up for yourself. Believe me; I’ve been there many years ago. When I eventually found another job, my bullying employer begged me to stay. No way!
    Best of luck

  4. Document, document, document, as stated by RM. If they do fire you for “not doing what you were told”, I don’t think unemployment will find the demands they are making of you reasonable, especially since I doubt you have been presented with a revised job description.
    Are you eligible for FMLA leave to get treatment for your condition? I, too, had to have a cardiac and GI workup before finally determining that it really was the job that was killing me. I resigned within 24 hours of returning from FMLA when my symptoms came back full force as soon as I walked into my office! So I also think you should be looking for other employment.
    Hang in there if you can, because I believe you will get unemployment if they fire you, but ultimately, your health and sanity are of the utmost importance. So sorry this is happening to you.

  5. Rowan, I don’t see anything illegal here, just unfair and unkind (which aren’t illegal). OP, I would (a) tell them your commitments outside work don’t permit you to travel and hold firm on that, and (b) start actively job-hunting.

    If you quit, you’ll probably be eligible for unemployment because they changed the job in a substantial way (particularly with the travel), but I wouldn’t quit anyway — it takes a very long time to find a new job in this market. Instead, find something else and have a new job before you quit.

  6. Actually, you might be able to collect unemployment, even if you quit. If an employer makes things bad enough where you’re forced to quit, it’s sometimes compensable. And with the way they are changing your terms and conditions of employment, I wouldn’t be surprised…

  7. I have always been of the impression you could apply for unemployment if you quit if you could prove the environment was toxic/detrimental to your health. I think a note from the doctor might help your case on this one. I honestly don’t know the process or how often that actually works.
    I’m guessing after 7 years you have a good time off package. Use that time to find another job. Be persistent and patient, but get the heck out of there.

  8. All good ideas so far, great job every one.

    It all depends on what type and if its a good relationship you have had with this employer. All coins have two sides. If you have any relationship at all with him and enjoyed working in the past with company, stick it out by trying to set up more ways to communicate as a parnter or team. See stuff from his view first. Try saying, “so (you feel/think its a good idea too{ mirror his words})” in a non comdenceing way with real sencerty. The empthy will help. The additute of me vs them will end in you leaving the company for sure. You might want that, and if so, leave on your own terms and make a plan.

    If there is any kind of kinship between the two of you, you can work it out. Maybe he is having alot of ther problems in his life that once you learn about can be addressed and get the department or company back on track. He is not opperating in a vacuum, he is acting wierd because of something.

    However, if you don’t care about him, he will fire you and a storm is brewing, best to move on to someone who you like who respects you enough to care for your life and dreams as much as you have have done for his dreams in the business.

  9. Oh wow. This place sounds really dysfunctional. You need to start looking for another job, right away. Your health is more important. You still may be able to get unemployment if they fire you, as people have said. But don’t wait around hoping things will get better. I seriously doubt that will be the case.

  10. Sometimes its better to quit than to deal with inconsiderate employer and awful work conditions but quitting with a new job at hand is the wise choice. You can consult a lawyer to discuss your say and rights in this condition but practically speaking, putting this forward legally with your employer while sill working with them will make situation more difficult for you. A good option here is to refuse travelling on health grounds ,carry on with the job(though it won’t be easy) till you find a new one (it might be difficult but not impossible) and then settle it with your employer. After 7 years of service, they should be paying you all entitled benefits, a legal adviser can help here.

  11. What your employer is doing to you is also known an punishing good performance. Unfortunately, as many before me have pointed out, it’s not against the law. All the advice given is excellent – especially the post urging you to document. Considering your employer’s actions, your boss probably isn’t documenting which will add weight to your documentation. I hope you’re able to hang in there. That being said, your health is the most important consideration. Get your doctor involved. If this continues, you may even have a worker’s comp case for stress and/or insured disability. Good luck!

  12. Sorry to hear of your situation. It’s true, a place of work can make you ill from stress. Unfortunately, I don’t see a better choice than to start a very serious job search. Life is unfair and what the employer is doing, I don’t believe, is illegal. I was in a situation very similar to yours and I found another job. It wasn’t easy but once you realize that there is no better solution it becomes easier to move forward and find that job. Good luck.

  13. Also, as far as the lack of a title, in an interview simply state that “While as X I don’t have a formal title but my role is…” Be short and matter of fact. Make sure your tone and body language is straightforward–you don’t want to come across as badmouthing your employer.

  14. I think I understand the situation at hand. You are responsible for doing the work of several people, you need help to perform this work, you want some recognition for your efforts, and you have been told that you will not receive help or recognition. Since these needs are being unmet by your employer, you feel stress and anxiety. To make matters worse, the constant stress and anxiety you feel is manifesting itself physically.

    First, I would continue to see a doctor. There are treatments for anxiety and stress, plus a counselor may be able to help you learn how to effectively communicate your needs and be more assertive regarding those needs. Being a healthy person and an effective communicator will help you to take the next suggestion; apply for other jobs.

    Applying for other jobs may relieve some of the stress and anxiety you are feeling because it demonstrates that you have some control over the situation. If you need a title, then my suggestion would be to use the one that you implied when you said, “I manage an office.” If you are uncomfortable with using “office manager,” then go to O*Net online and see which title matches your duties. When you are asked about the title in an interview, admit that it is an “unofficial” title, and then laugh it off by saying something like, “The company wanted to give me the title ‘Go-To-Lady,’ but it was already taken.” While I am sure you are tempted to quit, your state’s laws regarding unemployment may be similar to mine. Unless you are being asked to break the law, or your employer is taking illegal action against you (this doesn’t seem to be the case in your situation), then you won’t qualify if you quit. Also, if you quit, you may miss the opportunity to get a few great references from working for your employer for the past seven years.

    Third, stand firm about not traveling. Make a list of the duties you were hired to perform originally and the duties you perform now. When the employer brings the subject up again, say that you were hired to and that you also perform . State that you are unable to perform these duties while traveling, and explain why you are unwilling/unable to travel. The key here is to discuss facts and not involve emotional responses. What’s the worse that’s going to happen; your employer will fire you?

    If your employer fires you, you can still file for unemployment. If your employer disputes it, your state’s employment office will ask you to explain your side. If this happens, you can state that you were originally hired to perform , and then explain why you are unwilling/unable to travel. However, it’s unlikely that your employer will fire you because your employer will need to find someone to replace you and train that person to perform your duties. I don’t think your employer is going to want to exert the effort needed to do so, and I think that your employer already knows this.

    Take care of yourself, stand firm, polish up that resume, and find an employer who will recognize what a wonderful employee you are!

  15. I have to agree, for the most part, with CRowell’s post. On target and sensible. However, where I diverge is in thinking that saying “I was hired to do A, but now you want me to do B, and I can’t, so….” Change happens. An employer has a right to change the duties of your job. You, on the other hand, have the choice not to accept those changed duties and find another job. Nothing in your post is illegal. You may feel it’s unfair, but as mentioned, that does not make it illegal. You can try to have a discussion and try to resolve the situation with your employer. But, in the end, it’s your choice.

  16. ” . . .pushed 1 to quit.”

    It sounds like that is what they are doing.

    Update your resume and start looking. If you can tolerate it, do NOT quit until you have something else lined up. But, You don’t give a reason for staying.

  17. I have to also agree with Crowells’ excellent post. I was in a very similar situation (minus the travel part), but was given 3 jobs and was working about 80 hours a week. I was up until 4 am one night working and then came in 3 minutes late the next morning (yes at 9:03 am) and was reemed for it. This is when I finally realized what I feel you need to realize…sometimes bosses are crazy insane lunatic people with totally unrealistic expectations and no amount of rationalizing with them is going to change them into normal thinking human beings. Put your foot down about the travel…or better yet say you need to work with your family to make some arrangements to make this new duty possible and then just keep stalling on it…that way they can’t say you refused…and start looking for another job ASAP.

  18. Many companies strive to create flat organizations with team oriented cultures that foster maximum cooperation within and across teams. Eliminating titles is a big part of that process because it eliminates “pecking orders” while allowing “stars” to rise. Invariably some contract or commitment is associated with each job function upon which your contributions should be measured. This should be written down with expectations clearly defined, as well as, methodology to assess contribution. This approach creates bases for objective assessment, reward and hopefully a road map for growth. In the absence of such contract, the employee should engage in conversations with his boss to establish clear, written expectations, career mileposts and rewards with a review process that works for both. Such earnest and open communication creates trust and partnership, the basis for mentorship, career growth and positive impact to the company. Some may find it difficult to live and work in such loosely structured companies but “perfect worlds” like this do exist. The burden to communicate these needs and ideals with your boss lies squarely on the lap of the employee. This approach may not be something that is fostered in many companies but that should not stop anyone from trying. If you fail to establish such rapport in your present employment then I encourage you to look elsewhere where your skills and contribution will be better appreciated. Good luck!

  19. If it helps to aleiviate any worries you have about not receiving EI if your fired for not doing what your employer requests, there is such a thing as Constructive Dismissal. This is where an employer significantly changes your job to the point of being unreasonable in nature. If you quit due to the fact that your workload has increased dramatically, you have not received a wage increase to reflect the increased workload or responsibility, and what the employer is now asking you to do is significantly outside of the perameters of your original job description (i.e. travel) then you would have good cause to claim constructive dismissal and would most likely still qualify for EI.

  20. It sounds like her employer is trying to get her to quit. If she doesn’t they’ll start building a paper trail to fire her. She won’t be able to do anything right. She’ll be written up for stupider and stupider things. That may put her in a crunch situation where the only thing she can do it quit.

    Hopefully this is not the case, but if it is, she needs to just give her notice. She may be told not to bother coming back, but that’s a risk she’ll have to take.

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