Unless you’ve been living under a rock (not a bad choice, totally not judging you), you’ve heard that everyone you’ve ever seen on TV, or voted for has been a complete pervert. Okay, not everyone. As far as I know, Julie Andrews is still saintly.
If you also are a horrible person, we now have a solution! The Celebrity Perv Apology Generator.
Here’s a sample:
As the father of daughters, the allegations against me are troubling. It was simply boys locker room talk, and of course now I realize my behavior was wrong. In conclusion, I will get the help I so desperately need because this isn’t actually my fault, I have a problem so I’m not responsible for my actions.
Whew! For a second there, I thought celebrities would have to make sincere apologies. Thank goodness for the internet!
Thanks for bringing this to my attention, Jon Hyman.