What Kind of Lawyer Should I Hire For My Job Problem?

by Evil HR Lady on September 7, 2016

I get a lot of questions where the answer is, “you need to speak with an attorney.” Attorneys are expensive, and while some work on contingency, most employment law cases aren’t these big cash cows that you read about in the news. So, you’ll have to pay up. In order to save you some money, I thought I’d put together this handy guide in choosing the type of lawyer you need to handle your employment case.

Q: What type of attorney should I hire if my boss is sexually harassing me?

A: An employment attorney.

Q: What type of attorney should I hire if my boss is discriminating against me on the basis of race/gender/or another protected characteristic?

A: An employment attorney

Q: What type of attorney should I hire if I want to claim FMLA interference?

A: An employment attorney.

Q. What type of attorney should I hire if I want help negotiating severance?

A. An employment attorney

Q: But what if my brother-in-law does real estate law?

A: Buy a house.

Q: Seriously, he said he’d help me negotiate severance for free.

A: Then you’ll have to buy a smaller house because your severance will be craptastic because you need to hire an employment attorney and you won’t be able to afford the bigger house.

Q: Okay, so my sister-in-law handles civil cases, like divorce. Same thing, right? It’s all just contracts.

A: Why do you have so many relatives that are lawyers? You still need an employment attorney for employment issues. And I bet Thanksgiving is a riot.

Q: Why can’t you take my case, for free?

A: Because despite my stellar LSAT practice scores, I am not a lawyer. Also, I don’t like working for free.

Q: Why don’t you have the laws of all 50 states memorized?

A: Because I don’t need to. Hire an employment attorney that practices in your state.

I hope this helps! I sure as heck feel better.

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