Are You the Office Bully? No? Are You Sure About That?

by Evil HR Lady on October 24, 2016

We assume that bullies are either the mean girls who are out to get you, or the thug who steals your lunch  money. Anyone along that spectrum will do. But, what if you found out that your co-workers thought you were the office bully?

Not possible. You’re nice. You work hard. You only  criticize when necessary. Well, it turns out that people often perceive behaviors in a manner that the “perpetrator” never intended, and would be horrified if they found out you thought they were a bully.

There’s a secret to fixing this, but you’ll have to click through to learn it: There’s a Good Chance That Someone Thinks You Are the Office Bully

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

J.B. October 24, 2016 at 3:40 pm

Relationships between people are incredibly complicated, and listening to understand instead of to respond makes a huge difference. There are plenty of people who lack social or communication skills and who do not intend to offend…but how you treat others is always important.

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grannybunny October 24, 2016 at 4:46 pm

Someone who complains about getting “the heavy side of the hymnbook” may well be someone with an irrational need to find fault or play the victim. Absent professional help, they would be unlikely to change either their perceptions or their resulting behavior.

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Sandy Nolen October 24, 2016 at 9:23 pm

Interesting article but so very true. We all get bullied one time or another and bully others without even realizing it. While some people are indeed bully and they realize it, most people simply become one due to the situation. For example, if I am under a tough deadline and my peer isn’t putting as much effort as I am, I am more likely to snap and bully him or her. Sometime we all get caught up in our own deadlines, work schedules and don’t realize when we are being jerks to others.

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Jeanne October 24, 2016 at 10:17 pm

These are good thoughts. I think of bullying though as much harsher. Bullying is things that you can’t see their side of things. It has the element of the irrational or illogical. But it is good to not assume bullying and think it through.

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SuperRabbit October 25, 2016 at 5:11 pm

Agreed. I think of bullying as sabotaging a co-worker’s project, being purposely cruel in feedback, or humiliating teammates in front of the rest of the team. All done with the intent to dehumanize the victim.
Taking the best project and leaving me with the boring one? It may be thoughtless, but it’s a part of work.

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Deana October 25, 2016 at 1:23 am

I enjoyed the article – definitely some food for thought. I didn’t see choosing an interesting task as “bullying.” It’s just picking a task, as assigned — and not being overly gracious to another person is not actually bullying. 🙂 But I think the article makes the point well about thinking from the perspective of another person.

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Anon today October 25, 2016 at 9:39 pm

I think there is a chasm between failing to be gracious or self-aware and being a bully. It’s a continuum and I would not consider everybody who acts in a self-interested way to be a bully.

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Also anon October 26, 2016 at 12:11 pm

Agreed.

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