The Worst Possible Job Descriptions

by Evil HR Lady on January 10, 2017

The language used to describe something can make a huge difference in our perceptions. Writer and fitness expert James Fell posted a request to “badly explain your profession” on his Facebook Page. He described his own profession as: “I make ‘eat less, move more’ really complicated.”

His followers didn’t disappoint. Fell gave me permission to share some of the best bad descriptions.

Kevin: I convert perfectly good jet fuel into noise and chemtrails

Sunita: I withhold antibiotics from children with colds

Jennifer: I give away tax dollars to compost dead chickens and keep cow [bleep] out of creeks.

Emanuel: I get paid for letting people yell at me from a great distance via telephone-lines.

To read some more, click here: The Worst Possible Job Descriptions

{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Snowglobe January 10, 2017 at 2:05 pm

I poke my nose into the work my coworkers produce, and point out all of their mistakes to senior management.

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E O January 10, 2017 at 6:28 pm

I just want to let you know that I love that you appreciate James Fell.

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Roger Rabbit January 10, 2017 at 9:58 pm

I have one-way conversations with blank-staring zombies in sparsely furnished rooms.

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Bobboccio January 11, 2017 at 4:48 pm

I spend tax-payer money in an attempt to save tax-payer money.

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Bigglesworth January 11, 2017 at 5:55 pm

I email people with advanced degrees to remind them that they still have to do the data entry part of their jobs.

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Crusty Old HR Manager January 11, 2017 at 9:55 pm

I listen to employee problems, give them straightforward advice, and then sweep up the remains of their careers when they choose not to listen to me.

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Slippy January 12, 2017 at 7:19 pm

I break computers; hammer not required.

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charles January 13, 2017 at 2:24 am

I manage projects – that means I get to check off little boxes on “to do” lists (electronically, of course) and ask for deadline extensions. Oh, and the best part is I get to spend other people’s money.

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LaraW January 16, 2017 at 6:07 pm

I hire people and then start building a file in order to fire them.

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