An Offer to all Novartis Human Resources Employees

Dear Novartis HR Department,

You probably don’t know me. If you did, you might have actually read about what an HR department is supposed to do. Because of your lack of knowledge and insight, I am making an offer: Any questions from a Novartis HR person will be answered the same day I receive it.

This means you will jump to the head of the line. Cut in front of the people in my queue. Why do I make this generous offer? Because any company that is so phenomenally stupid as to tell an employee that claims she has been raped by a customer that it was her fault because she didn’t have a spare set of keys and, oh yes, she let her cell phone battery get low, needs all the help it can get.

I imagine the rest of my readers think I’m joking. Oh, how I wish I were.

They also brought disciplinary action against her.

Seriously, people. This is the worst HR screw up I’ve seen in a long time. Perhaps ever. And it’s not the only screw up. A jury agrees with me and as a result, you’ll be paying out $250,000,000.

Seriously. The next time you’re faced with a difficult situation, drop me a line. I don’t charge. I could have seen this coming a mile away.


Evil HR Lady

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12 thoughts on “An Offer to all Novartis Human Resources Employees

  1. "Malleable as the rock on the surface and under water, emerging to the surface waves? Could you see the rock on the surface of water?"Bookmanie

  2. The comments on the second article (about the damages awarded) are just sickening. Seriously, I lack the words.

  3. Yow. Words fail me. That's, like, "get a flamethrower and a wood chipper and drive to their headquarters" level of crazy.

  4. This makes me think about the way of thinking about respect inside that Company. If they think that someone is going to understand that excuse, what´s inside their heads?

    Good one Evil Lady.
    From Argentina, Bs. As.

  5. My jaw literally dropped. Seriously, Holy BLEEP!

    The state of the job market is probably the only reason all of their female employees haven't quit (yet).

  6. Does this mean that the rest of us non-HR employees of Novartis are going to have to endure all sorts of training for acceptable management practices and how to deal with sexual harassment in the work place? Please don't make us go through more trainings.

  7. I noted with interest the observation by the reporter that the company may have chosen to go forward with a trial on this case because the typical judgment in a case like this is "only" in the double-digit millions — an amount that is insignificant to a firm of Novartis' size.

    I've always been in favor of caps on pain and suffering, but this has me rethinking my position. If the caps represent insignificant sums to a defendant, they obviously — as in this case — feel they can get away with just about anything. How much did that knowledge influence the behavior of the managers and HR department?

  8. Sass, punitive damages aren't capped by pain and suffering limits anyway. The great majority of this award was punitive damages. That was one pissed-off jury–and understandably so.

  9. fposte, thanks. I hadn't picked up on the distinction.

    This is just a stunner of a story.

  10. Wow!! Are you serious? You have to be serious. You wouldn't bring such an accusation against "Novartis". What a stink up for a company considered to be a leader in "saving lives" What an irony! I am abolutely shock!!! I hope the victim can get through this ordeal and come out the victor.

    Thanks for informing.

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