I have one very difficult, challenging and toxic direct report. He goes behind my back and attempts to undermine me — and it appears to be working. My manager and director seem to be supporting my toxic employee. After a meeting where my employee took center stage and spoke for two hours, demeaning me and blaming errors on me, I spoke with my director. The director said, “Don’t feel bad that you have been asking for the same things and we turned you down and gave them to him; he’s just better at selling his ideas than you are.” This person will destroy my career if this goes on. He’s already divided my department with half the people looking to him for guidance. How on earth do I fix this with no support?
To read my answer, click here: Why Are My Bosses Siding With a Toxic Employee?
It is also very possible that this company favors male employees over female employees and if it is a small industry than even more likely that it is irrelevant what the sidelined does or doesn’t do, it will be ignored. It’s impossible to prove discrimination in these situations but it doesn’t pass the smell test either! Moving on in a small industry is not easy, especially if it takes years invested in certifications and training. I know none of this was mentioned specifically in this post but I have walked that path and it hit a nerve that there may be more to the situation. Is anyone the ideal employee? No, but it is strange that bad behavior is tolerated if it is a male vs female employee.
Whatever the reasons are for listening to one employee verbal presentation over another, there was no adequate response to the individual who appears by the presentation we have of the situation to be less extroverted in presenting their ideas than the other. Regardless of whether it is a gender based reaction or a cultural standpoint, this employee has to realize that they have to become more aggressive in their verbal presentations or find a job that allows them to work without needing to be as verbal. But first they need to have a private one on one evaluation discussion on their job performance, because it doesn’t appear that the job position is endangered but selection for certain areas of the job are (choices of assignments). One can’t whine about that without doing some evaluation of personal job performance and it sounds like a known function of the job. A lot of people assume they are performing the job correctly enough
Many companies side with the toxic employee because it’s easier than dealing with it. It’s really that simple. It is also a time consuming process when done properly and some folks just don’t have the moral fortitude to go down that road. Nothing personal against you.