Today’s Solar Eclipse Will Blind You, Destroy Your Business and Steal Your Cat.

Judging by the number of articles on the internet right now about how everyone is too dumb to survive the solar eclipse without going blind, I expect that by this afternoon, most of the population will need to visit an ophthalmologist. If only I had known about this back when I was choosing my career path, I could have gone to medical school and starting later today I could be filthy rich.

In addition to everyone becoming blind, apparently, we are going to go broke as well. Outplacement firm, Challenger, Gray & Christmas, estimated that the eclipse will cost businesses around $700 million dollars. I’m sure they did this calculation for the press, which they’ve gotten in spades. I’m happy to help share the news.

And the cat thing? I was only partially joking. I’ve seen numerous warnings to keep your pets inside because they will go blind as well. Newsflash: You would have to take your pet and force the poor thing to stare at the sun. Animals aren’t quite so stupid as we make them out to be.

To keep reading, click here: Today’s Solar Eclipse Will Blind You, Destroy Your Business and Steal Your Cat.

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8 thoughts on “Today’s Solar Eclipse Will Blind You, Destroy Your Business and Steal Your Cat.

  1. Mother of pearl! the “OMG your dogs/cats could go blind!” thing is making me nuts. I had an otherwise sane, intelligent friend argue that the risk was really a thing, and when I suggested that it wasn’t, as animals aren’t generally dumb enough to stare tat the sun, he showed me a picture of his dog with it’s face pointed skyward, sniffing. Nevermind that his dog still wasn’t blinded….

  2. The boss actually blocked off our calendar for an hour. We all sat out on the office balcony, which faced the right way, for an hour peering through our eclipse glasses and chatting about this, that and the other thing. We got a 93% eclipse and had I realized we had an extra pair of glasses I could have sold them last weekend for quite a bit as all the stores in our little corner of Oregon were sold out. Instead I ran around the building until I found someone who didn’t have any and gave them away.

    As far as I can tell our business is just fine and when I go home for lunch and to check on the dog I’m pretty sure I’ll discover she napped through the whole thing!

    The office the next balcony over were sporting festive aluminum foil hats!

  3. As this is the second partial solar eclipse in my lifetime, ( I viewed the 1979 solar eclipse), I knew enough to take precautions but knew I wouldn’t really see the total blackout effect because of my location. As I have the Weather Channel app on my phone, I got a notification when the eclipse started in Oregon and knew to not go outside without those glasses so I viewed it both online and on TV. I did peek outside my windows to see my area get dark like it would get prior to a storm. I also texted and call both my children so they wouldn’t go outside to view it without those glasses.
    What I enjoyed and will remember about this eclipse is the effect of pause it had across the nation while it took the path of total blackout. Silly me, I brought the glasses for my friend who lives in the path of the total blackout and forgot about needing them in my area of the Northeast and my daughter’s area in Florida, so we had to watch second hand.
    For those who did view it outside, cherish the experience. We do have another solar eclipse coming in 2024 which I might get a better view depending on the angle.

    1. Maria, FYI, for future eclipses you may experience. You don’t need to wear the glasses just to go outside or even look outside. You ONLY need them while looking directly at the sun. The sun’s light is no stronger during an eclipse than any normal day, so just being outside won’t blind you (or sunburn you more than normal). You only need to wear the glasses when looking right AT the sun, which isn’t something you normally do. In fact, they’re so dark you can’t see anything except the sun (or really bright light bulbs, or the light coming off of welding), so you couldn’t wear them just to walk the dog or whatever.

      My friend and I rode our horses during the beginning and end of the eclipse, stopping and getting off to completely enjoy the totality. We, the horses, and the dogs, rode along the trail to our viewing point without any eye protection (well, I was wearing sunglasses as I normally do), but had the glasses in our saddle bags. We’d get them out, put them over our eyes, check out the progress of the moon across the sun, put them away again, and continue along on our ride. Neither my friend nor I, either of the horses, or either of the dogs, have any vision issues today because of it, I promise you. 🙂

  4. You forgot to mention all the news articles about how solar companies were going to take a stock hit and the power grid might come down because all those solar panels will stop working for two minutes and the rest of the system would have to make up for the lost panels’ power!

    In reality the sidewalks in New York were jam-packed with office workers enjoying the hour we were all outside; even sharing FedEx pinhole viewers with strangers. (The cereal box thing is for kids – real office workers use FedEx boxes – “borrowed” from the mailroom, of course)

  5. Tee hee!

    I did get to see it, although I’m not working right now. My mum lives in a community that was in the path of totality. Completely worth the six-hour drive (there and back). You really can’t know what it’s like until you experience it. If I had gotten a job before this, I wouldn’t have been at work at all.

    Sometimes you have to experience life. It’s not all about work. 🙂

  6. I did experience temporary vision problems because of the eclipse, and yes I wore the glasses. I experienced dramatic night blindness on my drive home Monday night and then a wild dulling and shifting of colors on Tuesday morning. By noon my vision started coming back to normal. By the time I had an eye exam on Wednesday morning it had mostly recovered and luckily the doctor found no permanent damage. He said that some people are exceptionally sensitive to very bright light (like welding torches) and I am one of them. It’s now Thursday and my vision is 98-99% normal.

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