Are You the Office Bully? No? Are You Sure About That?

by Evil HR Lady on October 24, 2016

We assume that bullies are either the mean girls who are out to get you, or the thug who steals your lunch  money. Anyone along that spectrum will do. But, what if you found out that your co-workers that you were the office bully?

Not possible. You’re nice. You work hard. You only  criticize when necessary. Well, it turns out that people often perceive behaviors in a manner that the “perpetrator” never intended, and would be horrified if they found out you thought they were a bully.

There’s a secret to fixing this, but you’ll have to click through to learn it: There’s a Good Chance That Someone Thinks You Are the Office Bully


Remember back in school when class participation made up 10 percent of your grader? For some people this was the easiest 10 percent of the semester. You know the types–the ones who loved to hear the sounds of their own voices. They commented on everything, whether or not they had something to say.

For others, though, this 10 percent was the hardest part. Getting up the nerve to say something took half the class period, and sometimes the whole class period, and then it was too late.

Introvert Shona Maher described her experiences with class participation requirements like this:

In high school and college, the pressure to participate intensified. Now my GPA depended on it, because in many classes, there was a participation grade. This grade was the bane of my existence. Even though I did well on tests and papers, my final grade was lower because of my dismal participation scores. In my senior year of high school, my English teacher did these Socratic Seminars in which there was a circle of people on the inside and a circle of people on the outside. If you were on the inside, you had to say something at least three times during the discussion, and someone on the outside kept track of when you talked and what you said. For a shy introvert, this was a living hell. As much as I tried, I could not be the outgoing, talkative person all my teachers wanted me to be.

To keep reading, click here: Please Stop Punishing Your Employees For Being Introverted


No, NBC Should Not Have Fired Billy Bush

by Evil HR Lady on October 21, 2016

I am really, really, tired of this election. I just with that there would stop be employment related things going on in the election. Can’t we keep it to important issues like we need a law that prohibits hidden raisins in cinnamon rolls? Right? Of course right. I’m not sure why this isn’t part of both major parties’ platforms.

I digress. The person who is probably most fed up is Billy Bush, who lost his job for something that happened a long time ago, and for something he would have been fired for speaking up against. To read more, click here: No, NBC Should Not Have Fired Billy Bush.

And for more fun, let’s list really important laws you’d like to see passed, like the no hidden raisin ones. Serious laws will be ignored. 🙂


The Five Worst Things You Can Do After You Lose Your Job

by Evil HR Lady on October 20, 2016

When boss yanks your job out from under your feet, the result can be devastating. Whether you’re fired because of misbehavior on your part or a mistake on the company’s part, it feels awful. If you’re laid off, you at least have the comfort of knowing it wasn’t your fault, but that doesn’t change the fact that you had a job yesterday and you don’t have one today.

Lots of people have been fired or laid off before–myself included. Most people bounce back and often end up better off than they were before (I know I did). If you want to bounce back (which you do), here are five things you should not do. They will only make the situation worse.

1. Bash Your Former Employer on Social Media.

Sure, you’ve seen many cases where someone gets fired and takes to social media and the employer caves and everyone lives happily ever after. That gets reported in the news precisely because it is unusual. Most likely, if you go to social media it will make things worse for you.

To keep reading, click here: The Five Worst Things You Can Do After You Lose Your Job


My Co-Workers Are Voting for Trump

by Evil HR Lady on October 19, 2016

I sit across the cube wall from 4 hipster type web designers – all guys. (I’m a nerdy female data analyst). The guys are all conservative republicans, so I usually tune out the political talk or put on my headphones.

As you mentioned, a video went out with Donald Trump talking about how he just starts kissing women – and grabs them – and gets away with it. The video was awful, Trump is awful, whatever. But on Monday morning, my coworkers all agreed that it was total normal ‘guy talk’ and they don’t understand why someone would be upset about a ‘bad word’. I tried to explain that it was the whole non-consent thing that most find upsetting but they truly seemed not to get it.

Now for the first time I’m really alarmed about my coworkers. I guess the issue is, I feel safe with them: I don’t think any of them would make unwanted sexual advances to me, but what if some other creeper tells them they are planning to grab me and start kissing? Are they going to respond with, “Haha go for it”, or would they have the wits to say, “Actually Sarah is married and I don’t think she wants to kiss you”.

And the married dorky data analyst is one thing, but what about the cute young marketing intern that just started? Should I worry that if my coworkers hear about someone’s plan to just grab her and start groping her, they’re not aware that the correct response would be, “How about you ask her first. Rose smiles at everyone, that doesn’t mean she wants us all to touch her.”

Should I go to HR with my concerns, or should I assume that the guys are just being political and wouldn’t actually condone sexual assault talk in real life? Should I try one more time to explain to them why this is a concern? The video has been out for a week and a half now, and they still discuss daily how it’s not a big deal.

First a couple of things, just because I’ve developed a nervous twitch over this election: Trump is not a conservative. Sure, he’s running as a Republican, but he’s not a conservative.

Second, I’ve never met any conservative hipster types, but that is completely irrelevant, but it makes me wonder if hipsters are, in general, more liberal or more conservative.

Third, just to make things clear–I’m a free market capitalist and a strict Constitutionalist. Basically, I have no good options in this election, but no bother because I NEVER have any good options. I just throw that out because often when I write about politics I get nasty emails saying, “You only said that because you love/hate [insert candidate of your choice]!” I am not supporting Trump and I am not supporting Clinton.

Now that that is all out of the way, let’s address the issue.

The video is horrible. Trump is horrible. Your co-workers are complete jerks if they don’t realize how horrible the actual video was.

However, as to grabbing women and kissing them without consent? I’m not in favor of that, but most people are. What??? How dare I say that? Well, because I like to watch television and movies and we consider lots of movies where that happens romantic. See these clips:

If I had many hours of time, I could pull hundreds of movie clips where men kiss without asking and often with visible resistance from the woman–although she generally gives in and is completely  happy to do so. There are also plenty of examples of aggressive women. Kissing without asking first is the norm in showbiz.

Why do I say this? Because I just want you to take a second to consider where your co-workers are coming from. You’re married–to a good man, I suppose. Did he ask your permission before he kissed you the first time? (Or did you ask before you kissed him?) My guess is no. This whole concept of verbal consent for every romantic and sexual act is a new thing. In the good old days, you went off people’s signals and sometimes someone got slapped or told to stop. But sometimes they didn’t.

So, what I would do, if I were you is ask them your questions directly. “You guys, I have a question. If someone came up to you and said, ‘I’m going to grab Sarah and kiss her!’ how would you respond?”

If they treat that at all like a joke and say they would encourage that, then yes, go to HR and say, “They make me uncomfortable because…” and explain what is happening.

If they say, “Of course not!” then you move on,  “Is it because I’m married? What if it was about the unmarried intern? Is it okay to grab her and kiss her?”

They will probably (hopefully) say no. If not, then off to HR you go, and they’ll provide a sterner lecture.

I would also tell these yahoos to knock it off if they bring up the video again. Directly. But, I don’t think you need to feel panicked about your safety.


Legally, you can ask your non-union employees to do just about anything (unless it requires a license or something, let’s not go overboard here). But should you ask them to do everything? Of course not.

There are some things you shouldn’t ask of your employees, but what are those? (And there are lots of things that didn’t make this list like you shouldn’t ask your employees to buy you a Christmas present.)

To read about other things you shouldn’t ask your employees to do, click here: 10 Things You Should Never Ask Your Employees to Do 


Ask Questions that Are Legal and Useful, Not These

by Evil HR Lady on October 18, 2016

Small talk is nice. I like small talk. (Sometimes, other times my introvert side comes out and I’m like, no I’m good not knowing one here at this party, I’ll just casually eat 15 brownies). But, in a job interview, small talk can make it look like you’re planning to discriminate against someone.

When you’re conducting a job interview, you need to be careful to ask only questions that are legal and useful and save the small talk for after the person is hired.

To keep reading click here: 10 Questions Employers Should Never Ask in a Job Interview


You’ve quit a job, right? How did you do it? Did you provide two weeks’ notice or did you slink away or did you throw a screaming fit? These are just three of the seven ways you can leave a job.

I’m sure you’re more creative than the researchers, though, so tell me how you’ve seen people quit jobs (or how you’ve quit a job yourself).

And to read about the scientifically proven ways people quit, click here: How You Quit Your Job Really Matters


I’m Live on Sirius Radio Right Now!

by Evil HR Lady on October 13, 2016

Call with your questions – 1.844.942.7866. Wharton Business Channel.


Want a Smart Business Move? Try Introducing Flexibility

by Evil HR Lady on October 13, 2016

Think about your ideal job. Does it involve getting to work at the crack of dawn, barely having time to grab lunch, and getting home after dark—even in the summer? Of course not. The ideal job allows time for family and friends, as well as a good pay check and a challenging work environment.

Bosses want an ideal employee. They may think that is someone who comes early and stays late and takes no breaks, but that’s a recipe for disaster. An employee like that will burn out quickly. So, while you may think someone who does nothing but work is ideal, the reality is a well-balanced employee will be productive for a long time to come.

How do you get that well-balanced employee?

You give them a chance for balance. You set the environment that will help them gain balance in their lives.

Yes, you can develop this type of well-balanced employee through offering flexible schedules and telecommuting.

To keep reading, click here: Why Introducing Flexibility May Be Your Smartest Business Move